ping's blog

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2007-01-12T18:55:00.000-08:00

i am sorry i left this blog so dead for such a long time. sorry i didnt replied to the tags on my blog. thanks to my frens for leaving the tags. yup my driving licence cost at least 3 K already.

i am now attached to Davos Lifescience Pte Ltd for my IA. its company at biopolis doing research and production of tocotrienols, an ingredient in cosmetics and stuffs for anti aging and other anti cancer functions.

been very depressed recently. super..my heart seems like there is a dagger being plunged inside and it only kept digging into my heart instead of digging out.

i really wanted to hold on to our 3.5 yrs of rs..but when we realise that we are not for each other..we have to let go instead of dragging on.

u are my first love. thanks for all the sweetness we once had

i am very sad. we let things go slowly...minimise the pain. else i could suffer internal bleeding..

its our cool off period. we see how things go.

neverthelss...if things really finally end..we promised each other..we will still be the best of frens.
at least...wo men shi fen shou kuai le..a mutual one..its very ke xi..but at least..its a frenly one.

i still treasure u...

jia you blurblur

2006-10-27T06:01:00.000-07:00

so long ever since i blogged. guess everyone is quite sian diao liao. I couldnt see my tag board..dunno what happened to it but if you all wan to post comments, pls post it below my post. :-)
so many things happened in this semester
a few things to update those who are lost..yup i got my driving licence :-) thanks to those who supported me all along. And i passed my violin grade 2 with distinction. thanks to those who helped to listen to my choice pieces and also my violin tutor who added so many extra lessons. thanks to my fren who accompanied me after the exam.
what a sad semester...ya. so busy...hai and i am sorry to those who i neglected...joanne, sorry i wasnt there for u when u were down..fongmay, so long since i chat with u..i miss u a lot a lot..hai sorry ok frens..love u all.
i dunno who is reading my blog but if u all happen to be my uni classmates, u all should know sth happen between me and my fren.
To my fren,
i am really happy that u found such a wonderful gf. thank you for the past two years. u have been such a great person to be with. i will not forget the good things that u have shared with me. the help u have offered me during my uni years. though i still feel sad that our frenship is sort of drifting apart, i still wish for the best in everything u do. all the best k! :-)

i really cant wait for this sem to be over. i wan to go to the beach again. i wan to write a message in a bottle and throw it into the sea. let the past vanish with the sea. let there be a new start to my life. i need to regain the confidence i once had.
someone asked what i aim to be in my life..for me...i just aim to finish my uni life and work..get grade 8 in violin and maybe go back to study music. afterall, i realise my passion is still with the arts. wish me all the best k :-)
as the exams approach, take care frens and remember if u feel u need to talk to someone, u can call me

i better blog

2006-07-12T08:30:00.000-07:00

hehe sorry for the ultra long break...
hmmmm can't believe it the hols seems to be ending soon and i have yet to accomplish so many things that i wanted to do before the holidays...
hols usually mean work for me..yup sitll working at aljunied..hahah..work until sick recently..took mcs and had to rest at home cos feel weak and cannot move hahha
hol start off really sian...failed my driving again..for the third time..but i will just TRY again. hehe pls give me support k?? :-)

i enjoyed the uni class bbq..so fun..really relaxing after a long day at work.thanks to andrew for pointing out one major mistake in my choice piece..and also the food that was being cooked and handed to me by mei and yy and my classmates. the brownie was great too..(contributed by jingwen) hehe

went for a trip with jo,fm and kenny, kianhock and kenny and patrick and junwen to desaru..the beach was great...it was fun "riding" the waves! and not forgeting swimming in the pool with the dunno what some monitor lizard...hahaha...and also the 16 ringgit nasi lemak..yay

just had violin exam. tester was good. kept smiling. even opened door for me. hai but i screwed the Bb major appreggio again and side reading a bit screwed (cause was reading halfway suddenly very gong paused a while like 2 seconds..must be the cough medicine la)and the aural screwed cos supposed to be 6/8 time i say 3/4...hahahah...should be can pass la..the tester seemed to enjoy my choice pieces. i should be taking grade 4 next year. will jia you.

hai i havent really go shopping yet leh. so many things i wish to buy but held back cos i think i really ought to save up.

was suffering from papilla conjuntivities and is still suffering now..its not sight threatening. hmmm...dunno the exact cause yet but wont be wearing contact lens these few weeks. quite sad but never mind. hahaha..but contact lens wearer ..if u are wearing monthly disposable..do use the protein removal tablet..the solution is not stroong enough ...( the optician say i allergic to too much protein deposits)

oh and now food.....a few must eat for u all are
1) sapporo ramen at gallery hotel...(ramen is very tasty and chewy but beware of the ultra salty miso soup)
2) jap ice cream at bugis ( CHEWY and yummy)

i really miss eating gelare at east coast park and eatng oreo cheesecake. argh...can someone go with me?

i stumbled upon one ruby lin's website. www.sunshineruby.com..
was looking at her pics and salivating until my mother came in and thought i am a lesbian or something. hahaha...

shall stop here for the moment will blog again....hehe :-)

happy day

2006-05-06T07:08:00.000-07:00

finally this miss blurblur gonna write sth happy...

felt happy that i won the instrumentals quiz on symphony 92.4 fm. the question was to guess the instrument after a few hints given on air. some hints were...
1) this instrument is used to keep timing in marches
2) used to create the sound of thunder

and i cant remember the last clue. hee...wont reveal the ans..you all think think ba.. :-) hee

and the next happy thing is my electric violin finally arrived...Ok its rather heavy as compared to the classical one. but i really feel great playing it...its very quiet.. and just discovered that it can be connected to the computer and hence record my playing...oooo haha...shall record some songs for my frens liao.. hehehe..hope u all dun mind my lousy playing..

each day is a new and happy day...wont forget what u shared with me mei :-)

today's driving lesson was good..good due to the fact that i didnt touch driving since my last failed exam.,,which is like in december..haha..the instructor totally trust my driving until he fell asleep...so i was like keep driving and driving and driving until i almost going out of the ssdc route that i reminded the instructor whether to turn left or right hahahah...then he will wake up blur blur and say ya ya turn turn..hahaha..the circuit was fine..no knocking down of poles. dunno why felt super confident today...maybe its the power of dressing up and putting on makeup ( wa me is a vain girl cos my mother was v vain also..so dun blame me) sometimes i just have the urge to put on makeup..ahaha..(anyone wants some tip...me grad from ZA beauty sch one k ...hahah) but i just feel great after touching up my face once in a while. once i wore makeup to violin lesson and the tutor was shocked how come i can suddenly play very well..i also shocked...maybe the confidence loh. sometimes i wish i can be a freelance makeup artist for artistes..

some brands and stuffs to recommend
1) ZA cutie curl mascara or fiberwig mascara
2) inouvi blush
3) vichy foundation
4) loreal lip gloss..
5) kanebo testimo

all these brands are quite good ..used them before and find them quite good hahaa...

haha..so happy..went to this cafe with my jc class people..nice brownies..yum yum..thanks joanne for the lovely purse and handphone chain and chocolates.. and i guess u really know me v well..even can see that i was faking happy during the outing..thanks a lot jo...i am feeling a lot a lot better and happier :-)

thanks to my frens who showed me all the concern and pei me to go out shop and see things to cheer up. so happy !
3)
2)

yaaa

2006-05-02T06:27:00.000-07:00

not that i wan to write a sad post again....i mean ya i know i should write more happy post but in general i am a sad person..thats why i need my mp3 to be always by my side..need to listen to some songs and bury in some rubbish thoughts and then tear and then everything will be fine again...u can say i am mad but well thats me...

hai...things just seems to be heading the wrong way...

it was a great swim last night...raining,...the water was warm...the pool was relatively empty...i was crying as i swim...tears collected on my goggles....its rather difficult to swim and cry at the same time...tried that last night...its rather breathless...and the chest really hurts...

my thumb hurts as i started my work today. it cracked...and bled a bit...must be those paper work..actually such cracking really means nothing...just a small weird skin problem i have yet to identify but just dunno why i felt sad about it...the thumb screams..."why have u neglected me all these years.....didn't u realised that i changed since sec sch after the lab sessions...why did u choose to ignore me...noW i am cracking up...cracking up..." sorry thumb

watched the korean show that 18 year old wife one....

the guy asked his wife to look into the telescope..." the telescope is powerful...allows u too see the faraway stars...see so many wonderful things...yet it has a flaw..it cannot see what is near it...its like me...i am successful in things...see far..yet i failed to see the wife who is right beside me all the time...." so sweet,.....

compilation

2006-04-13T07:11:00.000-07:00

let me compile my thoughts for the past two weeks in this entry

been so busy these past two weeks due to reports, assignments and tests. but i think even no matter hoW busy one is, health should be placed on the first priority. so please remember to drink more water. been quite sian that i went to the doc twice for the past two weeks. first due to.....ok its disgusting i shall not say...second due to my right hand...some weird unknown infections and my thumb is not v nice looking due to that...hope will recover soon :-)

i think i saw one student from punggol primary sch while at hougang mall today after seeing the doctor...she was whispering to her mother and then she like very paiseh her brother was blocking me so that i cannot choose the pens. then the mother quickly dragged the brother away. so funny...haha...actually it feels nice that kids still sort of "respect" their teachers.
but it also means i had better behave myself in public..hahaha

quite happy that i am going back to my old workplace after exams. :-) so happy they are willling to reemploy me..though i made a lot of mistakes they were still very forgiving and always treat me during lunch. shall try to do a better job...but sorry frens i might not have the luxury to go out one whole weekday but still there's the weekends! :-)

a few things i plan to do after exams
(1) music exchange with cheryl, andrew, joanne and fongmay :-)
(2)eat at this ramen restaurtant at gallery hotel..the ramen supposedly feels like rubber band
(3)go to the beach and bring a palette and paint the scenery
(4)shop one whole day at orchard ( yay some of my dearest frens agreed to pei me liao..thanks :-))
(5)short overseas trip prob to malaysia cos i dun have money yet
(6)go to botanics gargen and look at the lotus flower pond...actually my fav flower is the lotus flower..
(7) go to the cat shop near east coast where the cats are real fat and pussy like
so many hehe...

hee

2006-04-07T03:52:00.000-07:00

had a very good swim with mei in nus swimming pool today after the paper. i think exercise is something that one should not forgo no matter how busy one is. so frens must remember to exercise k? build up resistance to study better for the exams!

hmmm...i really cant wait for exams to be over liao. need to practise more for my violin. still got some problems with control of the bow. keeps letting the hair touch the body. and the sound not nice whenever the note is long. haha

just finished watching purple love. watch until cry.

i feel sorry for mingjun. she sacrificed so much for luxi. taking care of him when he was in a coma. but luxi still loves yiqiao. though luxi said he wants to be with mingjun forever, she knows that his heart is with yiqiao.hai..she told him ," why cant u say the truth? why hide ur feelings? just tell yiqiao that u still love her? i did not hide my feelings for u. so u should do the same...i did everything with no regrets..." i think she is really wei da. but i doubt such pple exists in this world now.

i cry cos i feel sad for yiqiao. i feel that no one will be able to forget one's first love easily. everthing is just sweet and touching. no matter how dull a relationship can become, one will never be able to forget those first times. she could not forget luxi. she is just so poor thing. she was to marry luxi. then he went to america to pursue his studies to help save yiqiao's amor de capa(i dunno how to spell but it's just a grape vineyard) then he ended up in a coma after falling at a construction site. mingjun was beside him all the while. gave up job. everything. for luxi. hai...and yiqiao was kept in the dark..so sad argh so sad....:-(

now luxi wants to marry mingjun cos he felt he owe her too much. hai but is this fair for yiqiao, for mingjun....he is just a guy who cannot face his own feelings...

i live in fear and i cant wait to move out

2006-03-28T01:40:00.000-08:00

i cant wait to move out once i have earned enough money

its because of my neighbour....

two nights ago, a huge drama unfolded before my eyes...3 police cars, one ambulance and one fire engine was at the scene. a woman was screaming at the top of her voice and threatening to kill herself...

thats all i knew that night...and the next day...the truth was known yet kept a secret...

the woman is now in IMH...and she is apparently the mistress of my neighbour. she has 3 sons and she works at the coffeeshop. my neighbour...ok let me put it..my uncle..he apparently brings her home everytime my auntie(his wife) went back to malaysia. and recently..those gossipy people in my neighbourhood told her about her husband's affair and she started to follow him,....so recent;y my uncle never go find that woman.

so that woman turned mad...real mad...that very night...she went to smash the car of my neighbour..my auntie knew and chased after that woman with a wooden rod..and kept raining blows on her...until people called the police...then my auntie and her husband quickly ran back home and watch as that woman turned mad and threatened to kill herself...pretending that nothing happened....

the police was at their house in the morning the next day...and from what i heard they apparently said they are the victims who kana attacked by that woman...that the bruises on the mad woman's body are due to blows which were caused by self defense...

so scary...

i am vbery scared of my neighbours...why are they so violent...there was once my other neighbour warned the uncle a stray cat trying to enter their house and the next moment he kicked the cat until it flew a few metres away...and there was another time...he threw a chair down to the first level because the house below was making drilling noise early in the morning....

i really dunno what to say...i am just pretty scared that such violent people are living in my vicinity...that i would have been killed if i happened to be on my way to sch that morning and that rosewood chair came crashing down on me....its just scary scary scary!!!! argh....

life

2006-03-17T17:52:00.000-08:00

A short story taken from symphony.sg website ..i love this story..hope you all will also

A Piece of Cake!
Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" Here's a wonderful explanation!

A daughter was telling her Mother how everything was going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother was baking a cake and asked her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter said, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake." Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offered. "Yuck" said her daughter. "How about a couple of raw eggs?" "Gross, Mom!" "Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?" "Mom, those are all yucky!" To which the mother replied, "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

Life works the same way. Many times we wonder why we have to go through such bad and difficult times, not being able to envision our greater surroundings. All things work together for a common good. Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

2006-03-17T07:36:00.000-08:00

k enough of purple love posting ...afterall it is just a fake story la haha

i am very tired...
joanne, i really hoped u are in my sch to pei me...
joanne, why must we always work work work...all these vacations, i have been spending my time working cos i got no choice...i need money to pay for things...my hp bills....everything...my music lessons, driving lessons...everything...

i am very tired...why is it that my parents always compare me with those people around me...
that their results are better and stuffs like that...enough la

sometimes i hope i can just disappear...
i have made people very sad cos of me, very disappointed cos of me, very neglected cos of me...everything also cos of me
so many things happened on me....so many secrets that i dun want to tell...just want to hide inside me...hide hide hide...and only those really close to me knew what has happened...i really thank you all for hearing me out...
certain things that happened has changed me...i hate it...argh!!

hai...but cant just disappear right...so much responsiblities in front of me...

Joanne, remember what we said at the beach? we will be strong....and u must be strong too...no matter what is happening or what has happened...

purple love

2006-03-15T04:03:00.000-08:00

haha i know purple love is a typical boliao taiwan show that nobody watches except me but....
ok i watch it cos i like ruby lin and i like purple and
the story is just very pleasant...

the thinking of some of the people inside the show are very real...

i hope i canhave the determination of yiqiao(jojo)
the strength of xiangyi
the calmness of yanzu
the righteousness of lijie
the forgivingness of yiqiao

yiqiao once said to yanzu..."why are u so soaked in your depression that u failed to see the sadness of others around u because of ur depression...?" i find this true...tat while things may put us in the rut, we still have to be aware for others...and pull out of sadness quickly

purple love

2006-03-09T04:46:00.000-08:00

watched purple love till very sad...

JoJo asked Luxi to marry him....i was so happy...thought they can be together forever liao.
Yanzu was heartbroken to the max..his childhood love...the girl he has been waiting for since the age of nine is getting married to someone else. hai

HAI...comes the big big hai....

Luxi promised to love Jojo in front of Luxi...who knows...now he is becoming a very successful architect...from a broke..he was discovered by a professor for his talent and is becoming very successful..

in today's episode, another chio architect working with Luxi called JoJo. she told jo jo that Jojo knows nothing about architect and cant help Luxi at all. yes that chio woman likes Luxi..

in the morning, JoJo made breakfast for him...and without finishng he rushed off to work..who knows that woman finished the work. she mad..arrived at the office at 5am..then when he arrived, she asked him to join him for breakfast,. Hai ...didnt finish the breakfast and go and join her instead. Luxi didnt have time for Jo Jo..JoJO always went to find Luxi at his workplace during lunch cos she bought food for him. and he always dont finish and rush off...hai poor JoJo

i think in the next few episodes, Luxi is falling for that chio architect...

hai..i like this show a lot..it showed so much about human feeling and thinking..

it just goes to show that ...nothing can really be a true promise. everyone has a tendency to waver., look at Luxi,,,he loved JoJo so much last time..did anything for her...planted a whole vineyard for her...say live with her forever..now he is the one who didnt keep the promise. finally when JoJo realised she loves him and wants to be with him, he became the one to break the promise. to like that chio architect...is it that...people will only truely love the person who can be of some use to them? that the person will love someone who shares the same interest only? if next time ur partner is more successful than u and he/she is working with someone who has the same interest as him very closely...is there really a cause for worry? oh no...i feel sad for JoJo...

2006-03-05T05:58:00.000-08:00

things are just getting more sian each day

more homework..more lab reports...missing lectures..piling up webcasts....not doing tutorials...so many so many...give me a break...give me a break....why must uni life be so stressful..argh.

hai my violin skills..intonation still not good...one week good, one week not good...fluctutate...lack of practice...but dunno why...just dunno why i dun have time ..i know i need to practise more, but that would mean not able to do a lot of other things...a lot..really a lot, cos everyday supposed to practise one hour plus but i only practised 0-1/4 hour a day.argh help help...my choice piece still ban tong shui..though tutor said my side reading good, he says i still cannot pass cos my intonation is jia lat...argh...miss playing keyboard or piano..so easy...hit the note and get that note...violin hit the note get a flat or sharp note at times

argh .so much things to do...now that brother is in NS, need to be at home to help out in case anything happens. everytime, when i say i wont be home for dinner or is going out, leaving mother alone, she will have that sian look. hai...

think i am losing my mind soon...my mother says my behaviour very odd..that time i wanted to put hand cream..took out cotton bud and i knew i wanted to get the hand cream liao...then dunno why the next moment i swallowed a pill instead of putting on the cream...a fever medicine..haha..i really dunno why ....

then once i was walking around the house and shouting who took my specs when my hand was actually holding on to it....

oh no...think my brain got problem liao...argh...

thoughts...

2006-02-10T04:31:00.000-08:00

been thinking a lot lately..

this is a really tough semester..there are really tons of things to be done coupled with tuition and music exam..

i realised that for the past few sems, whenever i am very stressed, i tend to flare...to the people closest and nearest to me..i was wrong..and i am deeply remorseful for that..

flaring up at the people closest to me was a big mistake. i caused unhappiness in them...they didnt know what has really happened to me...they just see this mad monster flaring up..i looked ugly..(my bro takes pic of me flare and show me..gosh how ugly i am) i know, i flare for like one minute only then i will forget...but the damage might be irreversible..to the people around me. they are hurt by my attitude...my way of handling things. ok i think i didnt flare but i just treat people in a bad way..whenever they dun live to my expectations because i felt things never lived to my expectations.

i realised that...after a few quarrels and stuffs happened because of me losing control of my mood, losing control is just not the way...when i am sian, all the more i should treat people the usual way so that they are happy. and when they are happy, i will be happy...quarrels start when people lose control of their mood, i believe nobody likes to quarrel.

i wan to be a happier person, so that people around me will be happy. i want to be like jo jo in the show. contented with whatever i have...be a happy person. :-)

i will remember, that when i am very sad or stressed, i will not flare up or say things that hurt people..these unintentional acts only serve to make things worse,..i will just smile and be happy..at most i will just tell them what happened..i wont keep to myself anymore and then scold those people around me without them knowing what has happened..:-)

havent u notice

2006-02-02T02:04:00.000-08:00

today is 02/02 day. so happy to receive a msg from hanwei wishing me a happy 02/02 day. miss my class a lot..

i am happy today. received a pair of earrings from sheena. its v nice and i really liked it. so happy...:-)

but then i am sad. i hate it when pple dun reply my msgs..

P, dun u realise our r/s has been getting more and more dull and i really dunno what to say...i feel as if i am single already. besides the daily morning msgs and night msgs, there is nothing else. morning as in good morning msg and night as in good night msgs. other than that...hai i dunno..maybe its cos i simply feel so distant from u. u are always so busy, either tuition or sth else. yes i am busy too with sch but dun u realise..?? why cant u just drop me a msg asking whether i am fine in sch? why WHY WHY!!!??? sths i msged and i get no reply until at night. i feel so empty...

how happy i had been when i knew u decided not to go taiwan cos u had work in singapore office..but how i wished the reason for u not going was because u wan to spend vday with me..

yes, u said our r/s has moved on to the matured state...so it means we shall each do our things and behave like those old husband and wives who seldom talk to each other..?? hai.,..even my colleague when i was working part time, her husband called everyday during lunch to ask if she has eaten and whether everything's fine. they are married for ten years already...

everytime i see my phone blink indicating a msg received, i wil be very happy. Joanne, thanks for the msgs of concern and my other frens for sending msgs to me.

i know u may not even visit my blog. all u visited is your forum. my blog is just nothing in your eyes. nothing..maybe one day, we will just mark an end to the r/s because i would have lost the will to keep it going..and if that is the case, i hope u will be with a girl, who is not having any problem and leading a good family life so that she need not turn to u and expect no reply in return

what a great day

2006-01-27T04:10:00.000-08:00

i felt very happy today after going to east coast park with joanne.

We sat at the "plateau" beside the beach( i forgot the name in geographical terms). shouted to the sea, threw stones into the sea..we went "mad" but its ok. just the two of us..joanne, must rememeber what we said ok? we will work for what we want to be in the future. we won't let people look down on us. we can do it ok? we jia you together :-) thanks for the hug too..

i always feel better after a walk at the beach...so serene, away from the hectic and disgusting reality. i love to look at the sea, the tides, the sky, the clouds...so nice.....

came home to watch purple love. hmmm..so sad after watching. i am super touched by the two guys in the show, Luxi and Yanzu..their love for jojo is so perfect..undying love...hai..i just keep fantasising if i am jojo.( hhaa sure cannot one la. jojo so chio..my fav ruby lin leh..oooo big round eyes and chubby cheeks but her figure still so good..gosh) so sad..i tink she should be with Luxi, planted one whole grape garden for her though Yanzu was her childhood sweetheart. hai hai hai..i so sad noW for Luxi.ok i am going mad..

ok i am forever fantasising about lovey dovey stuffs and for this coming new year, i hope that people will find their true love and be really happy else i will be sad cos whenever i see sad love story or what, i will be super sad one. ( i wonder is it cos my horoscope is LIbra which is a sign for love thats making me so crazy about love issues)

:-s

2006-01-25T07:19:00.000-08:00

it's gonna be a sian blog again cos i am practically a whiny person. haha!

i am super pissed off with my violin tutor recently. thanks man he actually tuned my violin for a whole lesson and still cant get the notes correct. didnt play a single song during the lesson. played the keyboard in the music room instead while waiting for him. haiyo...plus he always give wrong info. mf is played louder than f??? gosh..triplet notes = playing with third finger????haiyo haiyo...think i quit the sch and find somewhere else liao la.

hai after CNY = tuition starts and i am sian of tuition. but i need the money leh. haha. sian sian. shall be more thrifty and spend less on things i dun need. hee..

ok i need to sleep. tml lecture 3121 must go listen live one. else cant hear anything. haha.

me

2006-01-19T04:40:00.000-08:00

those who are close to me knows what kind of person i am.

i am a person who feels sad more than happy most of the times. dunno why. thats just me. but when i am happy i am really happy.

its already the second week of school. life is still not so stressful yet. :-) been quite happy recently. my mei mei entertained me a lot in school. thanks so much else most likely i would have slipped into a stony state and start to anyhow think. she showed me the magadascar movie clip..gosh so cute those penguins! hehe..and a video of this deer playing saxophone. it's a toy sold at watsons during xmas. so cute..winky eyes and feet tapping to the rhythm. argh! soft toys are just so cute!!

went home today after lecture. mei called me and guess what..she spotted nice t shirts at sc bazaar and sent mms of the t shirts. nice nice! hee..i told her to get for me two pcs. so happy! finally found nice t shirts. 2 for 22.5..good bargain! hehe

miss shopping with joanne suddenly also. we the two "ah sohs" who always try to look out for cheap bargains..but most of the time will still end up buying things we like at their normal price cos cheap bargains are so hard to come by.

not that i am sad cos of school but cos of some other things. in fact, i like school. i believe anyone who has worked part or full time would know that school is better. there is less responsibility, more flexible time and there is fun with friends. not that i dun like working but well...work is definitely more sian. i am pretty lucky to be able to go back to the same company to work during hols. they let me tried a lot of things. playing with accpac, doing accounts stuffs, filing things..they let me take out whatever files i see not shuang one. they let me play with soldering, assempling of motor parts..very very fun..even though i burnt a hole on the table while soldering, ordered 100 dollars worth of wrong goods, counted the wrong sum and leading to accounts imbalance, they didnt scold me or say me. i am so thankful for that. :-) nevertheless, i still enjoyed schooling a lot.

new person

2006-01-03T06:57:00.000-08:00

new year..a new sp

i have decided..that i shall do what i wan to do without letting others affect my decision..

sp will be a different person this new year..

she won't go shopping unless she really needs the thing. its time to save up. come to think of it, for the past few years, i have spent a lot on stuffs i dun need at all. shall live on the necessity and not ask for more. wont ask for more. just live on the basics. no branded things..no exceptionally expensive food..no no no!

she will listen to lecture attentively..i have wasted a lot of time daydreaming in lectures..ok ok i am tired..stupid long journey to sch..oops..shouldn't blame on that.its the attitude..the heck care attitude which i should abandon. i won't talk to anyone in lecture anymore...won't use laptop...won't do other things...won't let my mind wander off..i need lots of time..plus i need to practise music..exam next year with trial in Feb..JIALAT..shall go home early everyday to practise liao..shall not keep saying and not do it..shall DO IT

shall not listen and take into heart whoever's comment except to make me a better person..shall not let anything insert a neg thought in me

shall be more responsible..check my email reg instead of relying on frens who have to tell me certain things which i missed for not checking email. learnt this all from work and stuffs..that once outside..i will be alone. nobody to help.

hmmmm

2005-12-30T07:01:00.000-08:00

congrats to my cousin for appearing in the news for being one of the top students in NUS to clinch the scholarship award to japan.

as for me...

my new year resolution is that i gonna...ya work harder.

since i am really left with not much money to spend, i gonna be left with no choice but to ya..study during the semester. i don't want to disappoint my parents anymore. esp with those parents, always comparing kids. ok all my cousins all doing well so i should at least try get sth decent too la..

feeling very sian recently..talked to a few close frens and felt good after that though my mind still slips back to depression once i didnt talk. dunno why..just that sian feeling

kept thinking why i need to work work work..so tired..not that i am earning to spend on luxuries..i am earning to spend on things which are in most cases, sponsored by parents. paid for my own laptop, own driving lessons, own music lessons...all hard earned money from tuition and hol admin work..not as if admin work is all slag..mine has to climb ladder at times, deal with stacks of boxes and papers...my thumb is in fact in a bad shape...all cracked up. I envy people who no need to work during holidays and can really enjoy going out with frens.

kept thinking why relationships are always getting boring as times goes by. whenever i see couples sitted along clarke quay hugging each other..i thought..well they must be still in the early days of the relationship or probably the spark still goes on after years..now it just dies off...had dreams of pat liking some smarter and more cute and demure girl..ok i am mad. hahaaha....
hai,.,.i am a person who likes to think back on the past. i dun like to think about the future. my favourite motto has always been " see how". maybe i hang on to too many sweet memories in the past, leading to my present disappointment. this is bad..right?

Courtship days are the sweetest and the best..

Heard on the radio is love = dependence?

this year is going to end..can't believe its so so so fast! .ZOOM..all past and its gonna be the same again. it has been a good year and i truely enjoyed it. shall learn to cheer up more else my face really getting more ugly liao.

Wishing everyone a great new year ahead!

hmmmmmmm

2005-12-21T06:57:00.000-08:00

thank you for the blue rose. :-)

been rather hmmm depressed lately.......it is PMS la..i knew it. makes my mood haywire and face pimply. sian. been craving for porridge for almost everyday. any porridge..esp the chinatown one..miss it man..and maggi porridge..and miss last time kfc porridge, just love the saltiness and "dong cai" in them. hehe..

disappointed...argh disappointed.....

shoot shoot

2005-12-18T07:16:00.000-08:00

today was a rather packed day. music lesson in the morning was rather demoralising because it seems i never get the intonation right. its always out. and my tutor refuses to put the tape on the board. he wants me to listen to the sound. hai..please la, i am still a beginner leh..its not easy to pick out the right tone...like what patrick says. i might be playing the song over and over and if i cannot get the sound right and instead, get used to the wrong tone, i am perfecting my mistake! argh!!!! help help!!!

i went home for lunch and head to samantha's house for tuition. lucky she asked me stuffs on momentum and forces..if she asks things like diffraction grating i might have forgotten. haha..

i then head for pat's house to put down my Giancoli haha! so heavy..

it was fun shooting today too! yay!!! shoot shoot shoot!!!

i am amazed...

2005-12-17T07:44:00.000-08:00

today was a great day!

In the noon, i joined my jc class for a gathering at settler's cafe. It is a great place! except for the especially small and rather smelly toilet..haha. it's really nice to see everyone again. nobody has really changed drastically, though yuanbin commented that he couldn't recognise me..hmm..i think i look the same. maybe he never see me for too long liao. it has got to be the dress i think. the dress made me appear,,,,pregnant..haha eric don't think i dunno. he suaned me loh. abish! aiya...the dress is old and too flowy liao maybe. ok everyone is saying i become skinnier liao. hmmm..but i have been leading a normal life..in fact a more unhealthy lifestyle, eating all the fried food and doing less exercise due to my admin job. so i guess i appear thinner when i am actually not. it's the clothing that i wear..the optical illusion.

had an especially early dinner with patrick at chinatown. super nice the fish beehoon. fongmay sure like one. hahaha..fongmay i won't forget how much you liked the aj fish beehoon. next time we all go there eat k!

the concert was TERRIFIC!! me and patrick went for the national piano and violin competition winners' concert. and ..WOW!! i am super amazed especially by the winners of the junior category! look out for this boy called soh kuan wei, he's gonna be the next big star as a famous pianist man. so young and he played like...GOSH!! he played Beethoven's Rondo in C major Op. 51 No. 1..i am also truely amazed by winner of the violin junior category too! she played Wieniawski's Polonaise de Concert Op. 4..super nice.her fingers were like dancing on the strings. good good good!!!! i enjoyed the whole concert!!! for only 11 dollars ..it was a concert worth going indeed!

had Ramly's burger for supper..ooo..the slightly spicy juice and the egg..love it man. but too bad my jaw locked i cannot bite into burgers nowadays..there is only a maximum size which my mouth can open. oh no.thats bad..i got so many burgers that i wan to eat..zinger burger. carl's junior..subway turkey ham sandwich..filet o fish...more ramly's...burger king's chicken whopper...filet o fish...kfc's fish burger..ooooooo...

heeeeeee

2005-12-16T07:05:00.000-08:00

my driving sucks. full stop. but i will try again.ARGH!!! i will try again!!!!!

ok finally met up with xy today. hahaha! oops..but he got ulcer and i still made him eat pizza hut. hope it doesn't get worse k. hehe
xy brought me to chevron to play bowling. oh so long never play liao. my last match was with mixue. at hougang there i think. hahaha...ok i played until v lousy i think. the ball kept going into the drain. dunno whats wrong with my hand leh..cos the ball always steer towards the drain when reaching the pin. hmm..i shall polish up a bit liao. hehehe! My arms too..i must train it more else my toes gonna get crushed if i were to try balls heavier than 10 pounds.
i took 188 from the place to harbourfront. quite a relaxing journey home, minus the crowd, jam and bright sunlight. perfect. reached home in one hour plus time..and here i am blogging after a good shower.
hee! looking forward to the next outing w xy ! jia you for IA!

saturday

2005-12-10T03:59:00.000-08:00

first time saturday i wasnt out. cos of the gloomy weather.
had group music lesson today. so boring. initially grouped with so many young kids i thought i can just sink into the ground la. luckily late transferred to another room to group with the adults. had driving revision too. test coming. hope wont screw. though today screwed in general.
so bored so bored. what do people normally do on weekends?
watched 3 ge hao ren last night. my brother rented the vcd. what a nice show..touching also, dropped a few tears.
miss watching movies. who can go watch with me leh?? i miss movies that can make me cry. haha i am mad again. but so far the only movie that made me cry like mad is Fly Me To Polaris starring zhang bozhi and ren xian qi.
if u all never watch that, its like this
cecilia cheung was a nurse and richie was a blind patient. they liked each other. later,richie was killed in an accident and he became a spirit. he was then able to see. when he saw how pretty cecilia was, he liked her more. he was given one last chance to return to the human world, but as another person. he cannot tell cecilia he was richie. else he would choke. when richie was blind and alive in the past, he used to play the saxophone. and cecilia liked it a lot. so when richie as a spirit returned, he played the sax again and cecilia thought he was back. she rushed to where the music was until she found it was william so, a doctor who fancied cecilia too. but the music was really played by richie and he was trying to help william woo cecilia cos he knew he had no chance. hai...but finally, cecilia still realised that this guy was richie and the ending was a sad one. ok i think i described until like shit but if u all wan see vcd can borrow from me..
ooooooooo i miss good shows

old diary

2005-12-09T06:55:00.000-08:00

have u all ever tidy up your things and then find an old diary and start to flip through it? hehe..joanne i know u skocked i tidy up my things right? and mei ah, i dunno whether u started tidying not..ur room ultimate messy. hehehe
ok ok i was tidying up my drawer and saw my old diary. last time no blog so got diary. those cute cute ones with a lock one.
the first time i wrote diary was in primary dunno what..3 i think. and it was on my birthday because my first entry was about my birthday. i remembered that time was the first time i took MRT train. ok i quite sua gu, very late then take train. i am a bus girl. bus here and there. my first entry was long..described my journey to science centre and the different mrt stops. miss science centre. loved the Singapore Scientist Magazines in the past. and i liked the dinosaur exhibition too. miss omni theatre too!
hehe..but the most interesting thing is to find entries on CRUSHES. haha!
crushes ma...when i have crushes in the past, i wont say out. (dunno how u all deal with them) so i always write in my diary. in the diary, i would scream " i like so and so..hope that so and so likes me too" ok...its like an outlet for me to scream it out. haha though the "hope" seldom come through la. sad..but i can only admit that sometimes its crushes that keeps me going in the past. like i would feel happy going to school cause i can see my crush. oh i am mad..hahaha..so funny when i read those entries..cant believe i can actually like someone that easily. :-s..hahaha! is it my horoscope sign libra..a sign of love??!! oh no! dadi is not mad to keep thinking about his xiao long nu cos me also think of my yang guo when in sec sch! argh! hahaha
but now grown up liao...dont really have such thoughts anymore especially when one is yup, attached. but i would still smile when i think of mad crushes that i used to have. well, aren't they just so sweet and so innocent and so typical of a growing youth? crushes are nice memories for keep. hahaha

unleashing the shopping monster

2005-12-08T06:47:00.000-08:00

holidays holidays...
today was a normal day at the office. besides the wonderful lunch treat by my supervisor at geylang. hahaha!
went bugis after work. ate tom yam spaghetti. i love pasta! shiok! but sth is not quite right with me, i hate tom yam one. why i still eat that spaghetti and even finished the whole plate..used to link tom yam to puky stuffs. haha
shopping shopping....
see so many people shopping at bugis man. so many cute stuffs. nice clothes. feel like buying them all man. saw boots. feel like buying boots and wear. ok i am mad.
walked through cosmetics counters..anyway i love makeup though i seldom put them. but girls, makeup really change one's look. hehe afterall i attended ZA's beauty school before. hahaha..oh..how i wish i can help brides to put on makeup. hmmm..maybe i should get a certificate for brides makeup after uni. can work part time.
just practised music. leg damn pain. was tapping my leg to count the timing and was trying the side reading. hahaha..ooo..shall rest my leg.

daydream

2005-12-07T06:23:00.000-08:00

i love to daydream..everywhere,anytime. To allow myself to immerse totally in daydreaming, i would blast my mp3 player everywhere i go. From classicals to chinese pop to oldies, anything can set me into a daydream state. every song seems to represent a person or an event.

Collide and mayday's songs - mei mei ( scary collide..wont forget that day at viet cafe u play this song until i cupped my ears. hahaha! and u and ur mayday songs..always playing it when u are studying ..hehehe)
oldies - patrick (wont forget how u influenced me to like oldies, u played those songs on a few nights while we were on the phone )
long long ago - Jo jo..(rememeber this song we played together on the piano at AJC hall :-) we must play again!! )
jay chou's songs - meixuan ( u loved his songs...and u went to his concerts..hehehe )
SHE songs - kenny ( cos that time we like SHE during JC)
tong hua - cheryl ( cos u first sent me this lovely song )
ah mei's song - fongmay ( fongmay and her ah mei! hehe..u listen to her songs on the bus..or should i say everywhere! )
zhang jing xuan's song - YL ( hehe introed so many of his songs! not bad! )
twins and crazy frog - mixue ( mixue loves twins!! )
enya's only time - terry ( cos that movie sweet november i watched with u)
5566's songs - brother (played it thousands of times ...abish to my brother! hahaha!)
micheal jackson's heal the world - my cousin ( somewhere during sem 2 exam sheena said my cousin likes this song)
vanessa mae's hits - andrew ( haha sent me so many of his songs! )

plus a lot of other songs which reminds me of people..cant stop thinking about so many wonderful people i met!!

songs simply make my day
i cannot live a day without listening to at least one of my favourite songs
so one day if u see me listening to mp3 on the bus....shhhh...cos i am daydreaming..haha.
k k of course please talk to me also la..
take care frens :-)

deaded blog?oh no....

2005-12-05T06:05:00.000-08:00

hee...ok ok i think my blog is coming to a point that it ought to close down soon la hah..but never mind, if the rate at which it is viewed is gonna drop to point zero, i would still write for my own pleasure, at my own time.
ok ok i know joanne going to say i damn disorganised. yes i am a disorganised person. i dont own organisers cos i wont use them. i dun have a really specific routine. i do what i want to do.
this sem has been a very tough one. been so busy that i spent so little time on other stuffs. lost my appetite and according to a few people ( mainly my aunties) i became skinnier. (dunno why they just like to see fatter girls) i didn't update my blog, didnt sleep well. ah...my first paper..dunno what madness got into me...i didnt sleep the whole night..tossed and turned and called patrick at 3am only to hear " hah? what? ya...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz" so sad la..ok i was mad then i started crying from 3 to 4am i think. the next day chem thermo paper i was like a zombie. ok sheena said i looked fine but i was really worn out. i slept on the floor for a while. during the paper, i felt so dizzy i just cant wait for the paper to end.
let me skip to the last paper. gen bio. 1st dec. when everyone has finished their papers. haha. after the paper, went to sheena's place make oreo cheesecake and according to sheena it tasted great! OH YAY! we are the greatest cooks! but well...we can still see that we aren't that good cook either. hahaha..! but grinding oreo cookies to fine powder was fun! and with M&M music at the background..oh lucky it didnt repeat as many times as COLLIDE! oh and finally i reunite with cue cue. haha..sheena's ducky..its a v cute ducky that wears a singlet and undies. hehe!
let me jump to 4th dec when me , jo and fm went to JB. and argh! saw jingwen, my uni fren there! so qiao..if not for the tiredness we felt and the food outlet that we sat at, we wouldnt have met at B1 of city square. haha! we didnt buy anything. a few food items only plus i played one arcade game with fm. some drum game. cool! i love to beat beat beat to the rhythm. heehe. we had dinner at argh i cant remmeber the name..that famous seafood place near pelangi. we took teksi there. think kana "qiao zha" a bit. but nvm. hehe! the food was great but cos i was having a bit of flu and the place was v v smoky and i was like going to sneeze anytime yet i can't sneeze it out. putting those crayfish, crabs, oyster omelette, vege , frog legs at risk. hahaa! i had to empty my bladder at the shell station. hehe..drank so much water cos i cant really take hot stuffs. the toilet was hmmm..cos its girl and guy share same toilet and the guy one only got the standing one. and then the basin was like ..eh how to describe..just that if u wash ur hands, u can see in the mirror a guy peeing la. hahah! cos those "standing toilet" was right behind the mirror. haha!
we walked along the causeway home
today was my first day at work. same place. same people. haha.k shall jia you work. enjoy the hols! will blog again. hehe

hard work

2005-10-16T10:36:00.000-07:00

today's violin lesson made me think a lot...
as i stepped into the studio, i knew i gonna be " in trouble " ...my violin knowledge and skill was practically the same as last week's or should i say the first two weeks when i first picked up violin.
when i handed over my violin for my tutor to tune it, he stared at the violin and then looked at me and said, " i know at once u didnt practise at all..the string looks totally clean..." argh..i knew it..i wanted to rebut..say that i had tests, labs and a lot of other things. but i held back my words. i knew it is my own responsibility to be disciplined enough to set aside time for practice..it is not anybody's fault. its my fault.
this time, he turned to me and said, " with your effort, and that if u are to continue with such an effort, i think its probably better for u to take grade 1 instead liao. else i really worry u might not even pass grade 2. " ok..i thought. ya..ever since the first lesson, my skills seems to remain stagnant. my bow still shifts left and right when i play. i cannot get the right note. it's always either too sharp or too flat or whatever. hai...miss my clarinet..press means press the hole or the buttons..tune liao means forever accurate liao..that violin..tune liao play still can out of tune cos either too sharp or too flat..and shift finger up a bit or down a bit just change the sound a bit..argh..
i come to realise one thing..only hard work can bring you somewhere..yes the teacher was impressed that i could play song on the very first lesson but subsequently the teacher was disappointed. he shook his head at my total lack of discipline to really practise. i can never go far without hard work and the same applies to everything. sch work. i dont believe there is such thing as never study and get good grades. not at uni level. everything is hard work. every musicians must have put in huge amount of effort...so do every scholars..
k, i shall really set aside 1 hour a day for practice. i can do it.

mood swing

2005-10-15T14:18:00.000-07:00

quite long never blog already. anyway, let me start from last saturday which was my dear joanne's birthday. hehe what a great time at swensens. nice ice cream! though a bit sian that my lips was burning for who knows the reason. the mint ice cream i ate served to cool it off a bit la. hehehe..then we shopped..or should i say walk walk around the mall to see things before i head home cos fongmay needed to go for dinner with her relatives and joanne needed to celebrate her birthday with jw's family. :-) a great day...just feel super happy everytime with joanne they all. Oh , and we just had a great meal at YIH's genki ytd with meixuan too. nice bookmark. i love it. esp precious moments. love precious moments. hehehe..and i got my bday gift from joanne too. yay..nice nice i love the top! hai but sad. everyone so busy. i think i am beginning to prefer staying at home to rest than to go shop. joanne asked me to shop with her this coming thurs. but i just rejected cos i am really busy and have to catch up my webcasts and work. even if shop, i dun really have the mood le. oh no...is shuping becoming more nerd le? i think yes leh...even go out with patrick i also starting to feel so tired. so tired everyday..like not enough sleep though sleep for 8 hours. oh no oh no...hai so sorry to my frens whom i keep rejecting on going out esp yuxiu. she asked me out a lot of time but think i really cannot. cos i know u like go shopping one whole day those kind and eat supper till midnight one. but i really cannot afford the time. the time for a whole day shopping. no time no time...sch really driving me into a senseless, stony person. actually i can go out la..but i also no mood leh..really no mood leh. dunno why..last time still got mood one leh..why now no mood...gosh. i am mad le..
and recently i nearly quarrelled with so many people. mood swing. that thing havent come. k never mind cos doctor already diagnosed that i am not ......... ( the word dun start with p ok) and thats why so never mind.
i really wan to thank patrick for being so understanding. :-) sometimes i just slip into the mood to wan to be with myself only . thanks for that
regarding my previous post, i am surprised that it sparked a number of comments. waiting to hear Mr V's explanation hehehe :-) maybe i really dun understand guy though i have a twin brother. shi bai de mei mei ( me a lousy sis ahahha) . hahaha.
still deciding whether to take grade 3 or 2. hmmmm...grade 3 got more scales..see how loh..ask my tutor. hahaha. he two years older only. and think he only grade 7 or 8. but very good le la. ok ok i shall stop here. else i de zui people. today's horoscope for librans is tat they might de zui people.

advice

2005-10-06T19:44:00.000-07:00

a word of advice to guys out there who likes a girl and that one of the last thing u should say to the girl is.....
" u are seriously not pretty..and u are not smart at all..there are so many girls out there chioer and smarter i can just easily go find them ..but i just dont know why i like u "
ok i dunno is it i sensitive or what..correct me if u feel that i am wrong but i feel that there is NO NEED to tell the girl that..for a girl looks at the mirror everyday and she knows best herself how she feels about her look and there is no need to remind her that she is not good looking, well at least that is what i think. and..being smart or not is not up to the guy to gage. a person can be smart in many other ways not necessary only in terms of academic. well unless the guy is an all rounder who excels in almost every single thing and completely flawless then probably he can say that..else just dont say. it hurts the girl.
next, by saying that, it only serves to imply that the guy is constantly comparing the girl with other people . if the guy really likes the girl, shouldnt she already be the best in the eyes of the guy?? if the guy is constantly thinking about how better other girls are, then scam off.
the guy might feel that this is the way to let the girl know that he likes her for who she is. well if that is truely what the guy want to express his feelings, that is truely a lousy way. and if it is really as what i felt, that the guy likes to compare but remains bewildered that he is totally smitten over the girl, then that guy should just go and think again.
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.

cutting hair is shuang

2005-09-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

monday after the heavy blow of the FM paper i decided that i need a good haircut so i decided to drop by at kelly hair salon in toa payoh to snip them off and rebond them..hehehe so shuang after that. sat there for about 4 hours. shuang shuang. and especially when they wash the hair..super shiok..and that place got an actor who is a hairstylist there. and all the ladies who go there super whiny with him. hahaha
anyway i felt totally at ease after coming out of the salon though i think my hair is too flat and the fringe i cut made me look super weird. gahaha..but just want to tuo li the usual look. dunno why when bad mood the hair always seems so cutable. last time can even cut until nearly guy's hair style. haha
finally the week going to be over and i can relax a bit. so many exams recently man and i couldnt even celebrate until very very shuang.
let's hope everyone is ileading a happy life now. jia you frenws!!!

so many things

2005-09-22T17:23:00.000-07:00

havent been blogging for ages. but i am still reading people's blog though. so many things have happened to me for just the past few weeks.
dunno is it twin's effect. cant imagine i am listening to 5566's hao jiu bu jian now while blogging. i remembered the first time when i iheard this song on 933. thought how come they playing chinese new year song. was quite disgusted and switched to another station, only to reach home and hear my brother blasting this song over the speakers. hahaha. but after repeated playing, iit sounds nice afterall and the lyrics are rather funny but ya..nice. its something like long time no see then dunno like how have u changed or something like that. quite nice. i like those "thinking back" songs. like xi shui chang liu or hong qing ting those kinds of songs one. hahaha. ok and somehow i will always grow to like something that my brother likes and he will grow to like something that i like. ok i am not saying i am becoming a tomboy and he a sissy la.
anyway, just want to tell u all that i failed my driving test but i will jia you again k. fan zheng i have no car also. hehe
feeling happy and sad for my frens. really really happy for shmm for having found someone whom u love and who can take care of u. (was quite touched that i dropped a few tears actually) happy that ur best fren is feeling in love too. :-) feeling happy that my brother is enjoying his life now before going to army.
but sad..my gf just broke up with her bf. hope u are feeling better now my dear. feel sad that some of my frens has been feeling down but i wasnt there for them. hai. sorry sorry . i am very sorry
but sad that some of my dear frens

sch sch sch

2005-09-07T21:25:00.000-07:00

finally ess test for this week over. and the organic chem test also over. what a hectic week. didnt go out shopping at all. besides violin, tuition and eating and sleeping, its studying. sian and somemore i am those kind take long long get the concept right one. gosh i am so stressed.

think the hectic life for this sem has made me lost my mood for love. besides, u also never msg me or what ma. u are busy with tuition, me with my sch work. i finally change my m1 line to free incoming also no use. cos u never bother to find out when is break. to maybe give me a call say even 1 minute to talk to me and see if i am still coping well not. at night, only talk for a while and we hang up. and sometimes when i call u during sch time, u sound so sian like that. maybe NS is a place for u to get alway from me. Maybe u are already sick of me. sometimes u never even say Bye and u hang up on me. sobs...

sobs..sobs..

i miss joanne and fongmay. can u two come to my sch pei me someday? fongmay u bring ur piano(hahaha impossible though) . joanne u take ur guitar. then i take my violin. we go compose a song together k. or we play a song together. hai..but sch makes everyone so busy.

i want to be a stronger girl

2005-08-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

i am stressed. six modules. ess test every week. labs. will jia you
been rather down lately. family problems. just dun feel love from the family, or thought i had felt love but just discovered..that no..blurblur, u have to be strong. u are unlike other people who might have the complete love from parents..well blurblur, u dun have but what can u do..u have to be strong. been crying on the bus along the way home from sch. been stoning in lectures. been stoning during the ess test.
since young, my family always had problems. when will it ever stop? why cant i be a more normal girl? why do i have to pretend strong at times? xinku...very xinku..tired. i could have turned astray given my background. but here i am. made it to uni. though at times, i felt haunted by my past and sometimes the present, i will continue to love myself and be strong. i want to be an upright person. work for my future and not let anything pull me down. i wil jia you.

hehehe quiz

2005-08-17T21:58:00.000-07:00

QUIZ
haha this is goped from Sheena's blog which is goped fr Zhu's blog

three names you go by:1) celery 2) pingguoshu 3) xiao la jiao (last time when young) 4) honker nose ( from mixue haha)

three physical things you like about youself:1) my long hair..(cos its long la haha) 2) my eyelash slightly curled at times 3) my ears (got earhole that never closes)

three physical things you don't like about youself:1) dry wavy frizzy hair which needs rebonding to tame it 2) dark eye rings 3) too broad shoulders (cannot buy lots of t shirt cos of cutting)

three parts of your heritage:1) im a henghua cos hehehe ...my father wasnt a singaporean 2) chinese 3) ....

three things that scare you:1) being hurt and lonely2)betrayal3)cockroach (dun laugh k)

three of your everyday essentials:1) my handphone 2) my wallet3) my contacts

three things you are wearing now:1) aj t shirt 2) flowery shorts those pa sar ma lam 3 for ten bucks those kind 3) specs...haha. i different from sheena..i hate to wear that er herm thing at home one

three of your favourite bands or musical artists:1) SHE2) wang fei 3) FIR

three of your favourite songs:1) zhi mi bu hui by wang fei 2) wo dong le ta by li sheng jie 3) jiu shi wo by JJ lim

three things you want in a relationship:1) honesty2) love3)

two truths and a lie (in no particular order):1) i love to dig my nose 2) i love music 3) i like to eat

three physical things about the preferred sex that appeal to you:1) cute boyish look 2) nice hair that sways in the wind haha 3) dark

favourite hobbies:1) swimming 2) violin 3) shopping!!

three things you want to do really badly right now:1) perform on a stage now so long never perform since sec sch leh 2) rebond my hair..getting messy 3) swim but now got sore throat

three careers you're considering/you've considered:1) pharmacist 2) teacher 3) chem engineer

three places you want to go on vacation:1) japan 2)japan 3) japan ( i just wan go japan la hehehe..see my meow meow)

three things you want to do before you die:1) play in a symphony orchestra 2) play a perfect piece for my loved ones 3) listen to all my fav songs again

three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:1) used to have super short hair 2) like to wear lok kok at times 3) hate to dress up at times

three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:1) shopaholic 2) dreamy 3) mood swings

three male celeb crushes:1) qi yu wu 2) tao zhe 3) any more shuai ge? ehe

three female celeb crushes:1) selina of SHE 2) Faye of FIR 3) Hebe of SHE

three people that i would like to see take this quiz now:1) patrick 2) joanne 3) terry

a beautiful girl

2005-08-12T20:15:00.000-07:00

A beautiful gal, in blurblur's definition, is one who
1) loves people whether they are good or bad
2) harbours no bad intention
3) has dreams and works hard for it, but is easily contented with life's simple pleasures
4) not afraid of any setbacks

i want to be a beautiful gal..eh hem hem..(chokes) but somehow i know i am far from it. i couldnt cope with my anger with s....n that time. i shouldnt have said such things about her on the blog. i shouldnt have been angry with her. i mean i should have but i should not have hated her. for everyone , no matter how bad the person is, is loved by someone and if that person can love that person, why cant me? afterall, bearing hatred for someone really shouldnt be the way. everyone is born with a kind heart, it is their inability to cope with the stress from outside that drove them down that path. i should help her get out of it. but if she really "zhi mi bu hui" i also have nothing to say. will silently pray for u s....n that u will be fine alright? that u dun lose any more money in it.

i have dreams but somehow i dun really work for it. i am lazy. i shall work for it. hmmmm

setbacks...i am a rather pessimistic person..a beautiful girl in blurblur's definition is one who is not afraid for she treasures what the heaven has given her to live till this day..yet i still. i think pat knows i am one such person. pessimistic..i shall not be that. i shall change my mindset..

i shall jia you...

(anyway my refund might be approved...mr v if i really can succeed i tell u how k..think my debating skills still very lousy ah ahaha..that mr ron shot me a lot of counterarguments ..)

why

2005-08-02T22:00:00.000-07:00

s...... why did u do this to me? betrayed the trust i had for u..the sincerity..all fake. u faked ur way to get me join the company didnt u? its just too bad i saw ur handbook. all along u read me like a book. how can u do that? hai. why must u do taht? for money? i am sorry..in the pursuit of that. u lost me. i will never want to be your fren anymore. not worth it. u are just a fake person. all out to cheat people. but i feel sorry. because u are totally brainwashed and i cant help u. u are too into it. i felt lucky. i got out before i got brainwashed. the company is bound to fall s.... take care
why did u do this to me Mr W...why? WHY!!! why spoil my image of middle aged guys,..of innocent looking tutors..u made me totally shocked...u did sth to me which i could have reported u to the police.but i choose not to..i dun wan see u in jail u know. argh!!!! why ...go away dun come near me mr w...

what is the point

2005-07-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

My life is screwed at this point. suddenly, i just want to be alone. i dun want to talk to anyone anymore. Being by myself, i could create less problem.
I knew that the 300 dollars i put into the company is lost forever. No point getting it back. i learnt my lesson. To read carefully before i sign anything and i hope everyone does the same. For in this world, almost everyone (bear in mind i am not saying everyone) is driven by greed, by the love for money..and in the hope of getting it..dont care about the feelings of people..
I learnt my lesson..not to ask people to go places with me if the person has the very slightest wish not to go in the first place. For it will only create a hell. for i will ultimately become the one sole person to be blamed for whatever outcome. for i will be left alone to cry and slouch in a corner. to take a cab home myself. I will think twice before i ask a fren who is attached out. Cos i had my lesson. i dun want anything to happen anymore between my fren and their partners.
i want to be a nun. i dun want to interact with people anymore. no point. only creates misunderstanding. only to get blamed for everything i do.
in the company, everyone tries to protect themselves. I dont want to live in such environment anymore. what is the point? maybe it would have been better to just be a nun. Live with my god. Learn the good values. spread it around. Then i wont have any wants, any desires..i will be at peace with everyone and with myself.
what is it i want to achieve.,i had so many dreams..to be a musician.a fashion designer, a teacher, an engineer.Will such dreams make me a selfless person..? i dun wan to be that..i like to share everything..yet every now and then i am slapped by the cold hard fact that people usually live for themselves. so what shuping? u think u want to be an "angel " or what ah..forget about it la... I want to close myself in for this moment. i want to be with myself only. There is no more point trying to make people happy only to get blamed in the end. Look shuping..u have screwed up ur life so stop screwing up other's alright .

hee

2005-07-22T08:12:00.000-07:00

it's been so freaking long ever since i updated my blog. sorry about that and i hope u all wont dismiss me as being freaking "dao" which mixue says i am cos i seldom talk to people on my own accord on MSN. Ok, reasons being i am super tired. Recently, i have been taking almost three jobs per day. Relief teaching in the morning, then rushing to the office in the noon and then something else at night, either driving or tuition.
I felt really fortunate to have been given so many chances. For my relief work, there was once i forgot that school starts at 7am and i thought i must arrive at 745am . so i was late for practically 45 mins. But the clerk says its alright cos i asm still young and she will give me a chance. Hmm..i was totally grateful for that. But i must still reaffirm that i was unintentionally late and i indeed thought that i have to report at the school at 745am. Ok. i think i am getting better at handling kids liao. those pri 1 kids were so cute! when i bring them to the sick bay, they will automatically reach for my hand to hold it. hehehe :-) ( so joanne and fongmay, dun say that i am very bad to kids k..see? they like me leh )
For my admin work, i felt lucky to have been given a chance to handle soldering and wiring. Not to mention i damaged the table on which i worked on. ok, i must say its cos i am not experienced at all so they didnt reprimand me for that. But i cant imagine next time when i go to work. so scary. maybe i head would have been chopped off.
my drving is stuck at subject 31. haven input money yet ahhaa..maybe i shall take my time to learn la. cos even with a licence, i dun have a car to drive around in. so whats the point..
ok i am mad i just took up violin and is creating a hell lots of noise in my house. It feels great to be back to music having abandoned it since sec 4. tried wind instruments and keyboard so maybe shall give strings instrument a try. must support me k ?
Because of work, i was too tired to update my blog. too tired to talk to people. in fact, my face is now quite horribly covered with pimples. argh...no sch also so stressed. well, i am recuperating at home recently. and finally regained the enthusiasm to blog .
Just went out to watch The Island with mixue and terry yesterday and sing kbox with mixue. so happy. first time stepping into orchard during a weekday. hehe..oh the island is not too bad a movie but sometimes the movie can be rather draggy. i fell asleep like three times at the beginning but till the end, it was rather exciting liao. 2 hours and a half long so its quite worth it. haha..
sch starting liao..sian the bidding things. should i take six modules? think think think...
the weather is rather chaotic recently. hope that everyone is taking care of themselves ah

relief teaching

2005-07-02T23:10:00.000-07:00

hehe.i was relief teaching at punggol pri sch yesterday and i must it was a wonderful and interesting experience.
it started off with me having to go for assembly and bring the bunch of kids to their class. so i stood there and recite the pledge (nearly forgot liao) . haha i was assigned to pri one kids. oh gosh. they looked so small and cute. when i walk they also walk. when i stop they also stop. so cute! haha
they started off being quiet in class. scrutinizing me like an alien like that. the noise started when i handed them work to do. a short essay. while some finished quite fast, a few struggled and they looked so helpless when they raised their hand to ask me to walk over. things started to get messy when apparently two guys in the class, well known to be the notorious one started talking with other kids and playing with them.oh and it became so hard to control. the next moment one boy cried cos he kana punched. and the next a kid ask me to ask everyone to keep quiet. i was almost going to faint having to attend to everyone in the class.
recess break but too bad i got recess duty. watch over the kids. haha..its nice to see kids running around happily and them greeting you whenever you walk pass them. so cute.
after that i was assigned a pri 2 class and shit i forgot that there is assembly after recess so i waited at the class instead of going to the hall. oops..this mad pri 2 class was so noisy durin g the arts lesson i was screaming at them. when that failed to work i switched off the lights to get everyone;s attecntion. and guess what, the next moment a teacher came in and scolded the class and tell them that they would be the last to be dismissed.hmmm...hehe.good good...punishment for being so noisy.
overall i enjoyed my day there. so much thoughts that i couldnt pen down everything. but yay! haha

jake

2005-06-30T23:33:00.000-07:00

ok think i am going mad cos i am so addicted to this book which i mentioned earlier on, Birthright by Nora Roberts. and largely due to this male character called Jake. Oh man,,i can picture his face in my mind. Tall, handsome with a set of super white teeth.his character in the book is just the ideal type of boyfriend or husband man. if only i am Callie in the book,i would be so happy! In case you are wondering about who the hell he is in the book and what is his character, he is an archaelogist who divorced with Callie but still loves her a lot and is trying to win her back. he knows every of her thinking and likes to play the domineering person at times but he is just so..just so suave and cool and romantic in the story. ok shuping is mad about some fictatious guy.

ECP day

2005-06-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

it was a great roller blading day at ECP today with Joanne, Fongmay, Kenny, Engsoon, Kianhock, Junwen and two adorable gals. hmmm..though i am really sorry that i was late for about 15 minutes and caused KH and FM to be late indirectly and then made everyone not very happy. sorry sorry. the roller blading was really fun. though i practically screamed non-stop for the first 30 minutes or so. yes, i am veyr scared of falling down. however, i must give a pat for myself for some improvement today. but i know i can never skate really properly bcos of my leg problem.still , i will try ba. pat came later. and i exchanged to ride a bike while he blade. ermsss...poor him, fell dunno how many times, sorry pat.
joanne and junwen they all then parted with us at mac. we then went to the beach there to sit and eat and talk. nice biscuits and chips. couldnt stop munching. its was nice watching the soaring eagles, airplanes, malay guys trying to ride the waves..
nice day at ECP :-)

great

2005-06-25T23:15:00.000-07:00

today was an interesting day. went to ssdc in the morning to book auto car lesson. then went to big mac centre at AMK to eat big breakfast. yum yum. i was alone. sat beside the glass panel so that i can look outside. hehe..ok today i want to be alone for a nice breakfast which i treated as lunch. ( it's not brunch cos i ate my breakfast..it's just that i am eating big breakfast as my lunch) nice nice...love the pepper on the scrambled egg and the crispy hashbrown. it was raining and i felt nice seated at mac sipping my fav hot tea. as i dug into the big breakfast, i watched the people around me. To my left, a lady was using her nail clipper to....not to trim her nails, but to erm..cut away the hair on her hand. interesting i thought. though it kind of made me feel uneasy. well, she finally stopped doing that when this indian gal came up beside her(ok they are still separated by the glass panel , the gal was outside) she was apparently very embarrassed to be caught doing that. i thought she saw me looking at her but lucky i shifted my eyes quickly enough to look at some other things...only to see this very macho man carrying a kid unbrella. hmmm..maybe a father who need to get some stuffs while his kids dine in happily at mac. but still..it seems like the width of his shoulder is longer than the diameter of the umbrella. so ya...he was like wet. anyway..nice breakfast. i'm lovin it.
hmmm..tuition. shit. i taught the wrong things. friction on the disc. two objects. m1 is 2 times m2. dist from pivot for m2 is x. for m1 is 1/4 x. and i used mv^2 / r to compare when i shuld use mrw^2
ah,,.went to eat at Just Noodles with pat. nice dinner. love the pig liver mee sua. I love pig liver. nice nice. then we had anderson's of denmark ice cream. nice nice. dense and chewy. i love such ice creams. yum..great food. i love food. hahaha

hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

2005-06-21T20:49:00.000-07:00

blurblur seldom goes online nowadays. was tired. especially after a driving lesson. oh and i am going on to parallel parking le. jia you jia you! hehe.
this morning i was in a bad mood. thanks joanne. you never fail to cheer me up. hope we can be less of a shopaholic next time k :-) ) but i will try...still thinking of my havannas slipper leh..
anyway, i am currently reading this book by Nora Roberts. called birthright. quite nice. i enjoyed her style of writing a lot and am totally addicted to her book right now. hehe..shall try to find all her books and read. haven been reading a good book for a long time liao.
headache struck me while i was on my way home after work today. forgo my swimming plan. head straight home to pop in one panadol pill. then came online and was surprised to see sheena. hehe. just knew that she has a blog again. (hmmm...i so slow.) :-( hehehe..anyway so happy that she is enjoying herself over at europe! take care and enjoy ok? hehe..will be reading ur blog and must describe more on food. yum...hehhe..
might be going to rollerblade this sunday with my jc frens. haha..hope i wont make a fool of myself though i very strongly feel i will. hate those slopes and humps. cant the route be totally horizontal and have no stupid humps on them? hehe
hmmm...back to driving and uh oh. i dun noe why recently my driving instructor keeps changing. is it that my chong scared of me le? cos that time he kept shooting sarcastice remarks about my driving such that it exceeded my threshold and i blew. i slammed the door and heck him. hai. i regret that totally now. oh no..i miss his scoldings liao.

happy entry

2005-06-18T09:43:00.000-07:00

:-) hehe..let me go back in time and blog about last saturday's great outing with my dearest JOanne and fongmay and also our class's guys kenny, kianhock, engsoon and patpat. oh hehe and junwen too! we had a great dinner at the Fin's Seafood restaurant, not forgetting the wonderful fish and chips i ate and those hot calamari rings joanne and fongmay gave me. And not forgetting that erm....bitter wine we each downed with much difficulty. haha..maybe i havent quite acquired that taste for wine la. heee..lucky my face never turn red this time. joanne and junwen both so cute. their face very red. as what joanne said on her blog.."free blusher" hee...it was a wonderful dinner. after which we head for taka where there was a mini yes 933 outdoor concert. but AIYA..we missed FIR. we only managed to catch JJ Lim and Energy. haha..oh and also not forgetting how mad me and joanne ran to buy drinks. must be the wine la. made us thirsty and there were no drinks on sale. lucky yoshinoya still opened.
it was a great night that day. so happy :-)
havent been going online for quite sometime. just dont have the mood going online cos i know most people will be offline or would be too busy to chat with me. hmmmm
went out with veron on and jingwen on wednesday to have a dinner. nice food. this bamboo rice thing at suntec food court. hehehe..then we went to pacific coffee to drink. nice nice and we chatted till nine plus before going home. haha. veron's frens all very interesting one. great time spent too! yay :-)
driving on thurs was .as usual .,...kana said but this time it was ok. not that nasty instructor. haha..did u-turn and changing of lane. sian i always forget to release the clutch after changing to gear2 when negotiating a bend. always kana scolded for that. ya i know its dangerous cos i may just skid if there is a stone or what but i have a tendency to throw the clutch. hehe. wa very scared kana car number 14 one. not cos of the instructor but cos of the car. i scared i will kill the instructor cos his seat belt is spoilt one. i already nearly kana accident four times liao...hmmm...am i really such a dangerous driver as what my instrcutor said..hehehhee...and i always tend to tailgate another car. cos i accelerate very fast. and my braking is lousy man
ok shall blog again.
i am still reading people's blog.so keep me updated k!

so what

2005-06-14T21:47:00.000-07:00

hate this kind of feeling. that of pure loneliness. sitting in front my desktop. listening to jacky cheung's "yi qian ge shang xin de li you" repeatedly. talking to nobody on msn. stoning. playing bookworm. hate it man. am i problematic or what. why is it that at times, i really want to be alone and yet at times, i hate to be alone and almost crave for a company for every single second.
its again this kind of feeling. that nobody is really there again. is it my brain got problem to feel this way? oh no...it always happens at night when i am surrounded by silence. then my mind would start thinking and thinking and thinking.
think of what i have done the whole day..think of my dream last night.,.think of what smses i received during the day..think of everything.
then most of the times i would slip into a depressing mood. pat knows that. he is scared of the shuping at night for she is extra sensitive and the slightest is enough to make her mood slip into further depression. hate it that my mind is always occupied with depressing things.
suddenly i thought of this sentence from my brother.."when can i truly be happy"
hmmmmmm...why must my brother have such problems leh..sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh.
oh no depressing entry again...is it pms or what leh? i also dunno..lonely..i'm mr lonely..

:-)

2005-06-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

hehe. its interesting to see spotty , fox and yl tagging on my blog. if not my blog is really dead to the max, dead to the point of wanting to delete it off liao. but never mind. shall leave it here for shuang. hehe
alright, today is a saturday. just came back from a horrible swim in the morning at the super crowded pool. disgusted with this man. cos i was swimming halfway two men was swimming very fast towards me so i had to stop in the middle and tread water.then suddenly this man just swam past me. he obviously cannot see well in the water loh. the next moment his hands were slapping my thighs and waist. ok ok he was not molesting me for sure cos he was swimming breaststroke and i think he just cannot see me so his arms just slapped me. abish man!!! but never mind.
hmmm..congrats to my dear for getting special commentary for NUS photo competition. i like the photo too! :-) will be heading to suntec convention hall later to watch the ceremony. hehe.
enjoy the day everyone. :-)

blogging again

2005-06-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

free. no driving lesson today. no tuition. hehe :-)
just borrowed from pat a collection of songs from TV. called TV champion hits. i love those songs. i was a total tv addict last time. watch tv from 3pm to 10pm. 3 pm watch those old shows repeat. haha. miss those tv addict days. here are some of my fav tv theme songs

鐵窗曲︰陳佳明詞︰陳佳明＊我的心早已經一片黑暗再沒有甚麼是可以點然我只剩眼角的一滴淚光怎能把這世界照亮＃對你的恨已經慢慢變少對你的愛依舊無法衡量在原諒與絕望之間游蕩唯一的感覺是傷　傷　傷＋我以為你給了我一線希望我伸出手卻只是冰冷鐵窗若現實它總教人更加悲傷就讓我在回憶裡繼續夢幻％我以為我從此能快樂飛翔在夢醒後卻只是冰冷鐵窗若現實它能教人更加勇敢就讓我在地獄裡等待天堂

一千零一夜曲︰邰正宵詞︰姚若龍編︰涂惠源她總是不言不語　黃昏等到天微明撥弄著懷中那把無弦琴寂寞裡秋來春去　諾言隨風都飄零夢中人還是沒捎來一點消息＊一千零一夜　沒有一夜不思念每一份想念化做不成雙的蝶一千零一夜　沒有一夜不流淚流到心裡面變成雪那一夜一場大雨　園裡的花落滿地那是他為她種的金線菊當有人勸她放棄　她會微笑看著你手心中緊緊握著發黃的回憶重唱　＊＃一千零一夜　夜夜看到她思念究竟誰讓她有那麼憂鬱的臉一千零一夜　夜夜聽到她流淚不知該怎麼去安慰重唱　＊,＃是真心都疼真心　讓我就從今夜起在身邊為她輕唱溫暖的旋律

愛我的人和我愛的人曲︰游鴻明詞︰許常德編︰涂惠源／徐德昌＊盼不到我愛的人　我知道我願意再等疼不了愛我的人　片刻柔情它騙不了人我不是無情的人　卻將你傷的最深我不忍　我不能別再認真　忘了我的人離不開我愛的人　我知道愛需要緣分放不下愛我的人　因為了解他多麼認真為什麼最真的心　碰不到最好的人我不問　我不能擁在懷中　直到他變冷＃愛我的人為我癡心不悔我卻為我愛的人甘心一生傷悲在乎的人始終不對　誰對誰不必虛偽＋愛我的人為我付出一切我卻為我愛的人流淚狂亂心碎愛與被愛同樣受罪為什麼不懂拒絕癡情的包圍重唱　＊,＃,＋,＃,＋

執迷不悔曲︰袁惟仁詞︰陳少琪編︰唐奕聰這一次我執著面對　任性地沉醉我並不在乎　這是錯還是對就算是深陷　我不顧一切就算是執迷　我也執迷不悔＊別說我應該放棄　應該睜開眼我用我的心　去看去感覺你並不是我　又怎能了解就算是執迷　〔就〕讓我執迷不悔＃我不是你們想的如此完美我承認有時也會辨不清真偽並非我不願意走出迷堆只是這一次　這次是自己而不是誰＋要我用誰的心去體會　真真切切地感受周圍就算痛苦　就算是淚　也是屬於我的傷悲我還能用誰的心去體會　真真切切地感受周圍就算疲倦　就算是累　也只能執迷而不悔重唱　＊,＃,＋,＋

They are my top favs...plus somemore..hehehe. nice nice..i just miss the shows last time.

was pasting photos with pat at his house a few days back. felt the love revive and so funny...so we looked when we first started.and oh...and my face so round man..think it is getting round again. hahhaa

enjoy the hols everyone. will write again. hope people still read my blog. though i dun blog..i got read my fren's blog one. hehe
*sacrificing tv time to blog.should be watching yin cha yang chuo now*

sigh

2005-05-27T21:54:00.000-07:00

no mood cos.......
1)brother is down with chicken pox
2)i am feverish now
3)my close fren is very depressed cos of family and him
4)pat is sick(plans for weekend all dashed)
5)work(made so many mistakes)
6)everyone seems busy
7)results gonna be released soon
8)listening to sad songs now
9)shiye's wallet stolen..affected her exams too

trying hard to smile..
it just seems like whenever i am sad, i feel that everyone is very far from my reach...

serious talk

2005-05-24T09:30:00.000-07:00

last night...last night....
what a serious talk with u..so serious. was trying to hold back my tears..
finally we discussed in such great detail..as if there is really no point carrying on....as if everything has reached a stage of either maturity or zero interest..yes..everything seemed to come to a stop..as if there is really nothing to look forward to..we seemed to have returned to the fren stage..no more the sweetness..unlike the past burning flame..what is left is just some glowing ashes..how to reignite everything? even u seemed to have lost interest totally..even asked if there is still a point in carrying on..hai, cried last night..didnt sleep well...went to work with swollen eyes..
now, feeling much better..after a swim and morning smses..just hope to reignite everything..shall work harder for it. u too k?
(thought that everything would have ended in our conversation last night...through the phone..which is also how we have gotten together in the first place...it didnt..dun want it to end just like that...i will hold on to the glowing ash and keep blowing at it..hopefully one day, i can start a burning fire again..)

EVENTFUL DAY

2005-05-23T10:58:00.000-07:00

double class outing today man..
JC class outing in the morning..so happy. so long never see those people in our class le. esp hanwei, wenyi, dalun, kenny, andy, engsoon,kaiwen, glenn, andrew, yuanbin...and of course with fongmay and joanne and patrick. so happy to meet them man. ate at this vines seafood restaurant near novena. hehe. even chen xiu huan(marie france dai yan ren) also came with her family. the food quite ok. its more of the company..with dalun being ever so funny( and wont forget the number of snails he wolfed down) haha..we went to play pool later. so funny all the gals played until so sian like that. but nevertheless, we had lots of fun together. so happy..miss 02/02!!!!!!!!!!!!
sec sch outing at night at swensens. mixue went to rebond again. chio bu. ;-) really nice man her hairstyle. feel like cutting that. aiya..i chatting on the phone while blogging. impossible feat. i will blog later. hehehhe

so long

2005-05-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

decided to write about my life recently cos i am rather free now.
hai recently there has been a series of unfortunate events. first, i ordered 150 dollars worth of wrong goods for my company. only my supervisor discovered it. the boss has yet to find out. phew..just awaiting the day that i shall get fired man. so many things screwed up in the office recently. though the sales suddenly shot up a lot and we were planning for a good treat at sakae sushi next week, i am still scared la huh.
ok talking about being fired. yes i am being fired. by who? this new tutee whom i took up for just one lesson. hahaha...ya la. my physics for A levels is lousy. i failed to solve one kinetics question and she deemed me a failure. ok fine. sack me then sack ba. hehe..........
driving is hard. not as easy as i thought to be. engine stalled repeatedly. cannot control the accelerator. my driving instructor is very good already. haha..dunno why always kana this same guy instructor. maybe the timing ba. and he always offer me sweet cos he see me drive like want to cry liao. then got once this bus was at the back of my car and my engine stalled at the junction right in front of the bus. alamak. all the passengers must be cursing me man. hahaha
been so busy..work and work and work...why i need to work so hard..hai..everyone says no money just let BF treat me la..or just slack and rest la.much as i wanted to, somehow i know tha t i really need to earn money myself. i will continue to jia you.
looking forward to the jc class gathering on 23rd may at marche for lunch and the sec school outing on the same day at night at swensens ..:-)

after effects

2005-05-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

i am still suffering from the after effects of ytd. first time in my life an incident bugged me so long cos i should forget by the next day after a sleep. thanks to frens who replied me on the tagboard. :-) love u all.
today's mood is generally slightly bad. it was fun taking pics with mei and yy at PP today. and also the nice Rotiboy. but somehow, when i am on my way home, sad thoughts just came to me. PMS maybe but i just teared on the bus again.

hai

2005-05-05T23:53:00.000-07:00

today was generally quite a nice day. esp the dinner at Marche with joanne and fongmay. oh olinda cho was dining there with her frens. hehe. hey she looks slim leh, not fat at all man. about the same size as me. think tv distorted her figure la. she queued up after us at the cashier and she and her frens were crooning some songs. quite nice. hahaha!
hai..my entry title sounds sad and i shall say what actually happened.
ok i met up with my pri sch fren for a ktv session. i shall just call her A.
i was close to her in pri sch.very close. always together. i trusted her. until one day. i represented my class to take part in this chinese quiz which was held on stage and was quite a major event. well i was lucky i fell into a group with this super smart guy called She Xian Yu. i knew that i didnt contribute at all to the quiz but because of him, our team won the first prize. i thought the whole class would feel happy for me until when i came down the stage, a close fren of mine whispered and said that A kept saying that i dont deserve the prize at all. Hai..i was quite sad but i didnt hate her. She is still my fren. ok..things dont turn out better when i got the top psle score in my class. my fren warned me that she is jealous of me. i didnt want to believe her. afterall, A appeared so nice in front of me.
we went on to the same sec sch and A was in my class. we joined the same CCA. i dunno why but u simply love to follow what i was doing to the point of secretly copying my graded assignments and caused me to end up with zero grades and a good reprimanding from the teacher. That day, when my teacher scolded me, i cried. in front of the whole class. everyone came to me with a symphatetic look. i hate to be accused of something which i never do. i dun mind not having the grades but the feeling of being betrayed. ok, after the class, i stomped out and yet she followed behind and kept saying sorry. Hai i want to hate her. but something in me tell me not to.
i loved band but A didnt really like. everytime A would persuade me to skip band prac with her or be late purposely. In the end, both of us were warned by the teacher in charge for our irresponsibility.
Things doesnt turn out better that my grades were better than hers. And it was worsened when i was made the sectional leader. ok, its quite amazing how a person like me with an apparent attitude problem end up being a sectional leader. I couldnt play fantastically well either too. well, up till now only i know the reason. and it is cos of the band major. He was having crush on me. ( ok i am going to remove this part quite soon so only frens who really read my blog everyday sees it) There was a slight rumour in band though not very widespread. ( but he eventually gave up on me cos whenever he tries to approach me, i would like walk away) anyway, hai,..i can still rememebr the day he put on the beret for me. and he said while looking into my eyes : " i am going to make u a sectional leader cos i believe u wil do a good job" i was quite shocked but i believed my face was burning then. ( band major, hope u are happy with ur gf le. saw u in NUS occasionally and i knew from a chem eng senior that u are in real estate now. hope that u will always be happy and thanks really for making me the sectional leader or i would not have changed to be a person of greate confidence and sorry about my attitude problems at times when i showed u a chou lian when u punished us during drills. still rememebered one time u saw my sian diao look and u also did the punishment with us.) ok back to the topic. hai ever since i became the section leader, A didnt turn up for band le. cos i would be the one conducting practice for the 2nd and 3rd clarinet section. hai. i thought its just u who dun like band until another fren told that she is skipping cos she hates it that its me conducting the lesson. hai...why why....why do u have to be like that? so hurting...cant u just tell me in the face that u hate me? why must u tell other frens about it? and since u dislike me? why be with me? why!!!!
hai went to sing KTV with A. but cos i need to meet joanne and FM for dinner, i kept insisting on leaving early. yet A still kept saying stop looking at ur watch and just sing along la plus my frens can wait one. time havent up yet and the waiter haven come to collect the fee. come on la....i was quite pissed. towards the end i was shouting int o the mike even for slow songs like Zchen's May I Love U. i nearly grabbed my bag and stomp off. sian...why why why.....
I just dunno why i still cant bring myself to hate u cos u are just so adorable at times. but i really dunno what ur mind is up to. maybe i shouldnt think so much. but everytime when i want to forget the matter, a fren would pop out to tell me sth which she said about me and sth which really hurts me. am i dumb or what to be still with her? give me an answer k...hai

happier mood

2005-05-02T18:09:00.000-07:00

hehe ok i know whats my problem..i cannot really study alone., i need someone to be beside me and yay sheena was right beside me today. haha went to NUS to study a bit for CEP. the sch was quite quiet and only mac was open so i had mac for breakfast and lunch. nearly puked man. hehe..haha sheena ate her burger and accidentally dropped a piece of vege on my stuffs..hahaha..my paper got mayo le. and she ah...play that COLLIDE again ( and she also msged me to tell me that COLLIDE is on air when she was on her way to the airport to have dinner, even when going home still dun let me off the torture of COLLIDE song) haha..but ok la..i shall not condemn her song that much cos she still played my fav song ai hen jian dan..even the boys studying in the same room as us crooned along with the song leh. lucky they never croon along with COLLIDE du du du du du du...
its 606pm now and i shall wait for patrick to come my house to have dinner. hehe..aiy missed the fireworks last night. :-(
one more paper tml hehe ( ok sheena going to punch me le)
let me see..i need to call yuxiu tml immed after the paper.that gal ah. so funny kept msging me to pei her eat chocolate buffet. of course i will pei u ah! this kind of buffet esp chocolates i sure wont give it a miss one. saliva drips..hehe

bad mood

2005-05-01T23:06:00.000-07:00

before i start off screaming in this entry..let me just say an incident that occured along the expressway which was told by pat. ok its that he was escorting guys going to ocs to their camp/ along the way when the bus was on PIE, one guy actually had a stomachache and he really couldnt take it. whipping out a plastic bag and preparing to lao sai into it, the bus driver argued with him that he cannot do that on his bus. poor guy. must be in great pain. (like me now...stupid stomachache) ok the driver decided to stop by the emergency line to allow him to alight and lao sai in the bushes along the expressway. poor guy and he must have felt gan ga.
ok today is just sian. first thing in the morning, i knew that i had to forgo the bbq at night due to CEP. ok well well everyone is forgoing their fav activity too so i shall kan kai. alright then i wanted to print sth and realised no paper at all., wanted to buy so went to bathe only to come out of the bathroom and be greeted with a heavy downpour outside my house. ok nvm. nice weather. i dozed off for a while and woke up due to a call by gowri cos she needs to ask for pat's number. ok. so i went online after sheena asked me to though i was still quite sleepy. hahaha..ok great. at night, my parents went for the bbq le and my brother was working. well well home alone. so sad. ate this fried mee which soon gave me a bad tummyache. ok i am not sure whether it is really due to that mee but it remains the prime suspect la. its so pain loh. until i need to walk like a lao tai tai to the toilet cos i cannot stand straight. and thats not all. the pain will then come in shots. what the,...hate it hate it...i am already quite stressed with CEP and this thing has to come to create more disturbance in my life. i was so sian that i simply logged off from the msn. no mood to chat. ok i guess this might be due to PMS also la. cos i can sense it. oh no. this is bad. erms and also the fact that samantha asked me to teach her chem on tues right after my exam. hmmm ok ok i dun mind that..just that i cannot rest..oh no..but i gotta be a responsible and independent girl ya..haha..k i continue to rest le. jia you to eeryone and pardon me for my bad mood. this is real bad....:-s

its so hot

2005-04-30T19:14:00.000-07:00

today's weather is real bad. so hot! cannot really study. was at arts walkway there with sheena. haha..
hehe thanks to sheena for not playing the song COLLIDE and playing some of my fav songs instead. haha i hate that song COLLIDE cos sheena was looping that song for at least 10 times last time and i got so sick of it that i covered my ears and she was shocked why i suddenly did that. haha. :-) ok great so today she decided to be good and play my fav songs instead eg. ai hen jian dan by david tao..hehe just love that song man. (pat u must sing for me ok? oops...wo bu yao lian again)..;-p oh no that sheena always never drinik water!! no wonder sick la! must "guan" her water next time. oh mans...she so bad again..just say her good and the next moment she played COLLIDE again. ABISH!!!!
hmmm think think think..a fren discussed with me about some gals who always get close to guys and create rumours and then when the guy thought that the gal is having a fancy on him, she suddenly become like strangers to him. is that gal trying to see the guy will suit her as a bf and when she finds that he is not and that she dunno want to create rumours any more she decides to be stranger to him? how does the guy actually feel leh? he must be quite puzzled and disappointed ba..:-s
most people finished exams liao. so good...i trying to study CEP but cannot leh..oh no.esp mark's topics..chan le chan le.
was in quite a bad mood until i sort of mistreated pat recently la. sorry sorry..
oko i shall stop here. will blog again

hehe my horo

2005-04-28T16:49:00.000-07:00

oh i just cant get down to studying yet. let me post another entry about my horo. oh and cos i am born in sign of libran and yet my bday is actually nearly virgo, i am supposed to be classified under dunno what which means i am not a pure libran but slightly possess some traits of Virgo.

VIRGO: August 23rd - September 22ndYou are the bean counters of the Zodiac. You like everything to have, and be in, its place. Able to instantly spot the flaw in any given situation, you are perfection oriented. You have excellent critical and analytical capabilities. Science is a natural for you as you love learning, assimilating, storing and retrieving data. Many of you can be found in the healing professions as you love studying all the muscle groups, bones and circulatory systems of the body. Others are drawn into technical fields in which you excell. Cleanliness is next to Godliness in your mind and sloppy individuals need not apply for a spot in your love life. You are the organizers extraordinaire and can be counted upon to do the job right.

LIBRA: September 23rd - October 23rdYou are the arbitrators of the Zodiac. Your symbol—lady justice with the scales—is the very same symbol that we use for law and the courts. Able to see both sides of any given situation, you ponder and deliberate long and hard before making decisions. You are extremely relationship oriented; you want to live with a partner as well as work in partnerships. Because of this, you must guard against giving all of your own power away. You are profoundly tactful, innately social, overwhelmingly gracious and exceptionally charming. A strong sense of color and design is inborn and you can often be found working in the arts.

tired

2005-04-28T16:35:00.000-07:00

today was my second last paper. maths. its bad. so many questions skipped. and worse still, the teachers made us stay back for about 45 minutes just because they miscounted and thought that there was a missing script. They even threaten to make us stay till the night as long as the script is not found. Finally, they resported to calling out matric number by number to slowly release the people off until suddenly, they say that they recount again and found it liao. Haiyo...made sheena, yy and yiliang waited for me for so long outside MPSH1. sorry sorry..somemore sheena sick still make her stand there wait and wait. :-( oh no... hee...we went to tiong bahru plaza to eat at the foodcourt there. nice kway chap shared between me, sheena and yy. hahaha..three sick pple share food and virus together. :-)
i feel that i slowly falling into a state of extreme blurness le. yesterday;'s econs paper i sat at the wrong seat. haha..until this gal just came and stare at me and ask what is my name. then i realise that i am sitting at the wrong seat and got up to find the seat. was so despo loh. lucky i found the seat just before the paper commenced.
suddenly before going into the exam hall today, i just remembered the exam scenes during sec sch. In sec sch, we would always be engaged in last minute discussion before going in. in sec sch, everyone always shake each others hand before going in. In jc, me and my frens would always be stoning before going in. haha...and i suddenly remembered that time fmaths exam i kept scratching my head until joanne who was sitting beside me laughed during the exam. hahaha.
recently sheena told me lots of things. hahaha...some lion guy distracted her while we were studying maths..she ah..must forbid her from going to msn when study next time liao. ( though i also online but i am not very active one, hehehe)
Listening to FF8 eyes on me now. simply like this song. hehehe...will never forget its cos of shermeen last time that i get to know of such a lovely song. and her brother played it on the piano when me and shirley went to her house that time. haha those sec sch times. suddenly me and sheena were talking about vomit that day before econs paper,. Oops disgusting la..haha..but it just reminds me of sec 2. "Tu " nian. rabbit year. a lot of people in my class sick and puked in class. and i remembered still that shermeen asked me to pei her to the toilet. but i didnt. i was busy. then suddenly she just puked outside the class. oops i feel bad. didnt know she was sick. those sec sch days...
sometimes, i just think of what i would have become should i have chosen another sch. my sch is quite ah lian and ah beng sch where everyone dun study one. somehow after moving on from sec sch to jc, when i mix with people of another sch(those top top schools one) i feel taht their culture is really different. hehe...so interesting..hmm but i am still veyr proud of my sch cos it has cultured me to be a "xian shu " gal. hehehehe ( correct right joanne? i veyr xian shu one hor when u first know me? hehehhe wo zhen bu yao lian.)
i shall write more about my life cos a fren told me that people dun usually like to hear people from neighbourhood sech sch talk about their life there but wo pian pian yao shuo!!! hehehe...okok i shall stop here. yay :-) jia you to those still having papers. last paper on 3rd may!!

so full

2005-04-24T08:47:00.000-07:00

just ate a very very full breakfast. peanut pancakes, yum yum..i love peanuts. joanne says that i am a monkey cos i love to eat peanuts. yay! i love monkeys..but then sheena asked me this xin li ce yan which ask me to choose the first and last animal to let go of when i am stranded in an island.i chose to let go of peacock first and monkey last. couldnt rememeber the animals in the middle. and sheena says that my choice shows that my first priority is money( related to monkey ba) and the last is love(relationship) those kind. Oh no,..i dun it is true la huh.

hai going to start studying my colour and vision before i really fail it cos i skipped lects all along and havent even start since the study break. though i SU ed it i am still afraid to fail it cos it got negative markings. Oh man...i wont even know whether to put an answer if i am not sure..help!!

cant wait for the 3rd of may! i cant wait! oh no!

Oh recently my nick was named disappointed. haha. thanks to those frens who questioned me about it. thanks a lot for the concern. its just that i am beign demanding during exam periods and easily disappointed if things dont go my way. ok i shall not elaborate cos i am already regretting what i have done to pat liao. kana suaned by him yesterday liao cos he was at my house and his phone recived an sms. it was quite far from reach so i asked him if he wants me to retrieve it for him. then he said" never mind leave it there..at least the person wont be angry one if i dun reply immediately...(obviously saying i am those people who will be angry one la)..huh?? :-( but ya la...i said liao ma..i am demanding during this stressful period leh. ok i shall try not to be la. cos i am not an emperor or what. dun have the rights to be demanding., hehehe

ok shall stop . :-) oh btw i have painstakingly changed the time. so this is the correct time when i posted this entry. yeps..early in the morning on a bright sunday

hehe

2005-04-22T05:12:00.000-07:00

exam period..hehe...havent been blogging for ages liao. decided to blog now.

shuping is a grouchy and demanding person during exam periods so please pardon her for this ok? if she happens to treat u badly she is very very sorry for that. :-)

been studying in sch with sheena. so fun to study with her. most of the times we were sitted outisde the photocopy room at Arts there. it is a great place there cos my eyes will be constantly fed with sights of the latest fashion wear( maybe the latest la) .haha. will never fall asleep cos sheena is funny most of the times. even when she is serious i will still laugh. and she always ask why i am laughing. hahaha...cos i love to laugh ma..;-) oh very grateful to Dr colin tan for his patience in guiding me and sheena for prog. :-)

finally prog is over. yay...pei sheena to go find zhu at science but rushed off, leavin gher with sheena after a while to head to hougang mall to buy things.hope they enjoyed their time together. haha paiseh to rush off,..i tend to like to go home immediately after a paper.

i am diligently reading people's blog though i myself didnt blog. haha..not that i am too busy mugging but just that i dont have the mood to blog. blogging needs mood.

received joanne's msg this morning and kana suaned by her for my blurness. well its just that i gladly thought that prog exam was yesterday but is actually today. hehe..lucky not the other way round.if not she will kick me to china(as what she says to punish me for my blurness...well why china i am not sure but must be my china look which she claims i possess

k. so i meeting joanne and FM on the 4th may for a good good dinner..(better blog about it before i forget) and also two KTV treats for Mixue..and a date with elaine too before i forget, hahaha..cant wait for exams to be over.

k everyone jia you alright? yay! exams will be over soon.

school

2005-04-16T02:01:00.000-07:00

went to sch today and reached very early. 740am! what a great feat for me. never ever have i reached school at such an early time before. Will always be late for 8am lessons loh. hahaa. well, went to school to do mathslab with sheena and also to study with her. haha. was sitting outside central library there along the walkway to arts fac.
sheena grouchy grouchy today at first. haha and she nearly boxed me up. help!! oh the bench there was actually quite nice to study except for the flirty mosquitoes! oh why do i say flirty neh, well cos i saw this mosquito kiss sheena's face then flew to kiss mine. Argh! slap it's face man. "PIAK!!!"oh the vegetarian food at arts cant is not bad actually. The 'fake" fish esp..."lin duo yi dian zhi" haha sheena u noe what i mean right..
studied with joanne and fongmay yesterday..hehehe..great lunch man at sakae sushi. Yummm and i love the gelato ice cream..the apple one..though joanne hates it and fongmay hates the chocolate core cos she thinks tat there is coconut inside. hahaha...kana scolded by joanne for being messy messy. hahaha..and she says i look like a ghost cos i dun tie up my hair when studying..really meh? haha
chatted with chongkok in the morning on msn. he is going to NTU. so long never talk to him liao. hahaha..
ok i shall stop here...will blog again :-)

hmmmm think think think

2005-04-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

hehe went for econs lect. banana muffin nice yum yum. hehe sheena likes her honey oats one cos she likes sweet stuffs. oooo...hehe i dun like too sweet..sents chills down my spine man.
went to king's albert park macdonalds with sheena after school. studied a bit of econs. and oh! first time saw that train to malaysia passing that "bridge" today.
passed by njc while on the bus with sheena. can see that she misses njc. :-)
thanks a lot to my frens for their support. i will jia you and try my best, even if i do not score well in the end, i wont regret :-)
read xy's blog. aiyo this gal seems super condemned by him liao. hmmm why did that gal do that to the guy neh...i shall try to analyse.mental block..will think later and possibly post a sequel to this blog soon .hehe

my past

2005-04-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

had my prog lab exam.screwed.cannot compile. functions here and there until i cock up everything.cried on the bus while on my way home.this sem is just screwed to the max.There has to be a limit to the magnitude of screwing ba.hai...i hate mself for being quite caught up with my scores all the time..pat says i should be more open-minded and accept whatever the outcome..there is more to life than results...ya i know..i know..but still...i cant imagine stepping out into the society if my results are like....
whenevr i am down, i will just msg pple. but this time, i didnt. pat is busy and he never replies until the night. FM and joanne is busy with exams. terry is busy at australia. mixue is busy with her exams..everyone is busy and so i shall not disturb them. thought of going to the beach to think of what i really want in my life. ...what have i done in my life...and what do i really want.
go back in time when i was still young.i was a lazy kid. played everyday and no work done. my brother was hardworking. In Pri4, i went to EM2 and my bro an my cousin(yimin) went to EM1 top class.i continued to play...play and play.i love to play. i love to shop. my frens love shopping too and we always loiter around. only in pri5, i worked slightly harder. pri 6, with a PSLE score of 243, i went to HIHS. in sec sch, i joined band. was very happy. i love music..i love school and my frens,..everyone so cute. my results was ok. maintained top in levl fo sec 1 and 2 and sec 4. screwed up sec 3 la. was elated.with 8 pts, i went to ajc.
an incident made me feel that i am actually a person who can perserve. i took part in the relay run for sports day. when i was about to reach the finishing line., my leg cramped. i fell. i cannot stand up. but still i tried. i ran a few steps and fell.fell three times before making to the finishing line.everyone was shocked at my perserverence. i was shocked too. should have stayed put and give up..but i know meixuan was waiting for my baton...i had to pass it to her.went home with so many bruises..so pain...results were screwed up jc1 and did ok for jc2 thanks to pat and joanne and fongmay.love all of u. was happy. met great frens had great fun.
then in uni so happy to meet pple like sheena and xy and veron and jingwen and others. nice pple.so happy...but now..somehow...its so xin ku..dunno why...it seems like i am just so tired or what..the competition is so great...i cannot breathe.i am a person who needs time to learn...i am not like my cousin who can score high grades like caps 5 and get 97 out of 100 for programming exam..i am an ordinary gal..
...so fast and i am 19 years old liao. oh no,,,and guess what,,i still dunno what i really want in life...what do i want neh....i feeling better already..i shall go to the beach one day to think about my life again. i hate it but i feel that i am still a person who is rather concerned about my marks and can be very affected if i do not do well. I love to think of what i have done in my life..i must make it fruitful...:-)

I am just a normal gal.

oh no no

2005-04-11T06:38:00.000-07:00

oh no no i cant believe but this horrible concoction of mixed feelings is getting into me right at this moment when i should be the most frantic for my prog PE this coming wednesday. I am feeling lonely, envious and oh no...feeling so haywired.maybe its the unusually early dinner at 430pm i suppose? oh no..
or maybe its the msg from pat saying that he is at a chalet now? oh so envious..why am i being cooped up in my room facing a pile of prog notes and the computer and stoning and stoning and stoning? i want to go chalet also! Why am i staring at the computer screen when obviously no one is chatting with me online...oh no...
It's this sad feeling...that i am alone..taking an exam..studying myself and then realising that i dunno a lot of things..yes! this eerie feeling of just finding out that i dunno a lot of things...oh no..

hehehe...just ate a piece of chocolate..:-) jia you everybody!

your personality

2005-04-10T16:28:00.000-07:00

answers to the quiz...hehehehehhehehehhe....gonna type a lot...argh
a)forehead
-u hav a strong passion for life n at e same time, a peaceful nature. Though u r a forgiving person,u also demand respect from other pple. u hav gd interpersonal n communication skills.as such,u hav a fulfilling social life n u tend to hav many frens ard u who tink tht u r gentle n understanding

b)eyes
u r someone who needs plenty of love n passion. u do not mind sacrificing everything just for the sake of love.u express your love in a wild n passionate way. HOwever, u r also equally capable of becoming a vicious lover, manipulating ur partner to achieve selfish goals.

c)nose
sex is essential to u in a relationship.u value frenship,loyalty n u hav a strong desire for love and sex.u tend to be playful by nature and u just cannot stay long at a place without feeling uneasy. As a result,it is very difficult for u to establish a strong foundation for your career n it is advisablethat u do not change your job with no strong reason.

d)face
frenship is v impt to u n u value peace above all other things. u r generous n willingly share most of ur prized possessions w ur frens. it does not bother u even if u r short-changed by people.to u, e world is a better place if everyone is living in peace and harmony.u have a kind heart n u try not to harbour bad thoughts about other pple. maintaining a long lasting n affectionate relationship is your forte.

e)ear
being a sensitive person, u can accurately guess wat is on a person's mind.u possess a disposition to appreciate or share the feelings and thoughts of others, However, u can also be someone who cracks jokes at the expense of others.towards relationshps, u r not affected by emotional constraints and is very expressive.

f)lips
u r someone who is governed by a great sense of loyalty. when u kiss someone's lips, u r actually expressing the hope of having one's true love. u tend to have very strong moral values.

g)neck
flirtatious by nature, u r unlikely to be someone that dreams of everlasting love. although ur passion for things is veyr strong, it does not last long and will fade away in jut a while.even when u r no longer in love with your partner, u tend to be selfish and demand him/ger love u still.

HEHEHE how true not? i chose face anyway hahahhahahahahaha!!!!u can ask other people see what ans they give

hehehe

2005-04-10T07:44:00.000-07:00

oh let me post this quiz which i read from a mag today while with fongmay hahaha
this quiz is about which part of the body do u like to kiss most?
a)forehead
b)eyes
c)nose
d)face
e)ear
f)lips
g)neck
from this we can see what kind of person u are hehehe
i will post the answer later aaha

hehehe

2005-04-09T20:10:00.000-07:00

Let me take down the time, 808am in the morning.Just read newspaper and felt sad for this guy who worked for this chemical company and got burns all over his body cos he dunno that he was dealing with acid all along.His employers assured him that they would treat his conditions but they escaped. Why did they do this to such a guy? mei liang xin..hate it when poor uneducated people are being bullied and asked to perform tasks that sort of put them in serious danger without them knowing.
havent been blogging for sometime so i shall write a very long entry. There has been a lot of thoughts going through my head and hopefully i can still recall some of them, or all of them. hehehe..

Was very surprised and touched when sheena wrote an entry about me. made me sound so angelic. hahaha(me is bu yao lian). Thanks Mei Mei! hehe...actually i am not so perfect a person as described by sheena in the post(in case u decide to try your hands at testing my patience)...well i must say no one has seen me flare up before ba? i dun think i have ever flared up at my friends before.if i did, u can put that down in the tagboard and i shall try to recall... Maybe only my brother has seen me flare up before....and that was because i was trying to get down to studying and the kids staying a few units away were screaming at the top of their voices. My blood was boiling and the next moment, my books went projectile motion across the room and i started to scream as well (trying to compete with them la huh) and i thought that my windows sort of resonate at the frequency of my voice. cos there was this "wong wong" sound after that..that was the only time i really flared up. otherwise, i dont. haha...cos i dont like to flare up. I know i will regret later so i try not to create a chance for me to regret. While flaring up is one thing, being angry and not showing it is another. Well, i do get angry at times, (haha can ask patrick la), most of the times during PMS though...but i tend to forget super quickly one so i dun usually show it. hehehe...i love a peaceful environment around me...i hate quarrels...i hate to be unhappy with people and i hate people to be unhappy with me...
hehe so happy to have mei mei in school with me. and her zhu zhu also. haha! my mei mei is very nice to me also. always wait for me one...and never once flared up with me for that...cos i always late. I will change this stupid habit of being late ok? :-) my mei also very dote on jie jie one right? thanks for your concern too when i told u about my physical problem( ya...) and u wanted me to go for this service so that i will recover. i didnt go in the end but was really glad that u really care for me. :-) love ya! yay~~~jie jie will always take care of u in sch one! hehehe..

oh nananana in my previous entry is xingyou. hehehe..very nice to have known him in nus too. U always never fail to cheer me up when i am down at times although sometimes u were actually in a lousy mood yourself. :-) so nice hehe...yay! and he very dote on his mei mei one..if only my brother can be like him la...:-s

exams coming and also ending le(actually havent come la but i already excited about the holidays liao)..hee,.,my company just called me ask me go back work for them..and they still waiting for me to treat them lunch..oh no...where should i treat them neh...hahah..was super happy when they treated me to a meal at hotel windsor..nice food man. I love food...yum yum yum yum.ah,,,i still cant really get down to studying..joanne so cute, called me in the morning cos she cannot get down to studying too..oh no! joanne we jia you ok? (still remmeber last time in jc we two gals always like the most slack one and always say why we always so jia lat ..hahhaha..miss going out with u again..yay but never mind going to meet up with u and fongmay in 4 hours time from now!)

tuition at 10..people advised me to stop tuition and concentrate on work but i still enjoy teaching. Oh i love teaching. How i wish i can go back to yuying sec to relief teach again. those kids so cute...except those sec 5 normals la..scary..they confiscate my pass instead of the other way and the guy who confiscate it actually put it in his breast pocket and asked me to reach in and take it back myself. i was like at a lost la...oh i give tuition also cos i need to pay for a lot of things myself so no choice..i will try to strike a balance in things one :-) (librans are known to be good at tht right??? hehehe....yay so many people same horo as me..joanne, kenny, sheena, songkun, yaoliang...) hehehe

oh i better stop liao.will blog again! :-) have a good day frens!take care!

2005-04-07T00:20:00.000-07:00

Green

You are a very calm and contemplative person. Others are drawn to your peaceful, nurturing nature.

Find out your color at Quiz Me!

concussed

2005-04-06T04:21:00.000-07:00

programming lab4 greeted me and sheena a very good morning at 12am today outside viet cafe of NUS.Yes,Tic tac toe was the topic for lab4. slightly easier than the previous lab but still...we took a disappointedly long time to finish it. :-) and special thanks to nananana. haha! brought us milo and sweets to keep us going! yay!! lucky got that milo cos i was quite hungry actually in the middle of the night..
halfway thru the night, i was already in a half awake state. we blasted music to keep ourselves awake. even sheena started typing things which she has no idea what she is typing...something like "tickets fully booked"???? HAha oh man..wow and the night was cold too..plus if u all observe, there is this red chair purged on the balcony of the bridge between the viet cafe and the E2 block ..so eerie...
hai i made a fool of myself by "nearly screaming"upon hearing some music drifting from somewhere..only to realise that it was actually coming from a laptop belonging to this gal sitting at a bench and she sort of stared at me with this "ridiculed" look. oopsie..
Was feeding mosquitoes whole night..eewww and i can sense that my eyelid getting more droopy and body more stinky and eewww
went shopping with sheena..actually i never buy anything la, but made a reservation for sth which i gonna get soon hehehe :-)

I will always feel empty when pple ends off their msg with " k, dun disturb u liao "..makes me feel that the person is like become not readily available. hehe...hope i wont get such msgs often...

poor pat kana critisised by someone for using earphones in the public while wearing uniform...oh no..hmm..i also dunnno what to say to him cos he feels rather disturbed by this until he went to sleep and heck me(haha just joking la),,,hmmm what if the person complain about this to the superiors..hope not la though pat is partially at fault for using it..hmmm,.,..hmmmmm...

hmmm shall stop here,...super sleepy and concussed...walk like head heavy heavy and this time not just plonk on the floor but instead, crash through the crust of the earth and directly to the core of the earth...smash smash

:-)

2005-04-04T04:46:00.000-07:00

haha...to add on to the dedication..i shall specially mention my ever dearest joanne, the "matchmaker" for me and pat. hehe, that ger ah,..dunno ah..secretly gang up with pat never tell me...but got drop hints here and there,,heheheh..love her man.,.forever so ke ai..hug hug! :-)shall meet them(joanne and fongmay) on saturday to study together yay! shall eat happy meal again(hehe sorry ah fongmay heheheh)cos i wan collect sth...;-) hmmm exams coming le..everyone must jia you jia you hehehhe...

stuck outside viet cafe now and getting ready to face tml's new programming lab. with sheena now. hahaa..cant believe me and her actually laughed like mad during CEP tutorial, that lady tutor must have felt why these two ridiculous gals were laughing for no reason. And we lost our way too when going to arts canteen from AS7 .somemore before we made our way, sheena met her fren and she said she gotta rush off. so me and her happily walked on only to realise that we are faced with a dead end. her fren gonna think why these two mad gals rushing off to bang against the wall..hehe..oh no,..its cold here at NUS at night,...and i am scared of the toilet,....:-s

shall stop here though..feel blur and tired..haha..will blog again when i am in a clearer state of mind. enjoying music sent by sheena just now. so surprisingly fast were the transfer rate! the songs were sent within a split second. we were both so stunned that our eyes nearly dropped and rolled onto the floor!!

A dedication for Pat

2005-04-02T06:29:00.000-08:00

i have decided to reveal a bit about me and pat since some people are asking. Hehe. actually if u all realise, i seldom mention patrick and i seldom like talk to him on the phone or what. maybe i shall share abit in this entry ba..
Dear,
It was the class 02/02 of AJC that brought us together, or should i say our maths group. I forgot how u ended up in my group but my first impression of you was that u are simply very cute. Cute to the extent that i thought eh we wont be bf gf kind of thing one. Hehe. I was the group leader then and i was supposed to help u and qiming but end up i kept failing fmaths. but everytime, u still called to ask me maths question. haha..those long conversations started in JC1 i suppose, right pat? once we chatted until 3am plus right..u always called to discuss hmwk and then topic would digress. I like it when u play music for me to listen during conversation. (eh sometimes i was actually asleep halfway thru the conversation..hehehehhe). But talking to u was veyr pleasant. U were a very shy boy then. when u first gave me my bday present, u just placed it on the floor and rushed off. haha...
In JC2, we continued to chat on the phone and u continued to ask me questions and in the end solved it yourself. haha..we continued to be frens until that day...on the phone,...wa after the conversation i cannot sleep la.
when we first started, i didnt stick to u. I want to be with joanne. I treasured her more than u. I know u were disappointed with me. BUt somehow, i just dont know how to handle u in school. I didnt want people to know. Hehe..we were almost like normal frens at the starting of the relationship. never even go out at all. hahaha...but i would feel happy when i receive your sms.. u said that it is this feeling of anticipation that is distracting, yet very sweet and heart warming..
Pat, i really want to thank for what u have done for me. My first vday gift from u was a basket of 99 roses, all made by you yourself using pink tissue paper...and u still said that i can use it when i have flu..haha..u ah. U are not those dream guy that most gals are after. those who drive luxury cars and shower gals with gems and jewellerys. But u are just so sweet in my eyes at times. I wont forget too, the number of Mac ice creams u wolved down to collect those bears to spell my name. i liked also how u used candles to form the words I LOVE U at a park near my house there for me. thanks also for breaking up lightsticks and write using the chemical inside on the rock along marina bay for me during one special night. u did so much for me..
Pat, without u, i would not be in chem eng today. I really couldnt have done well. but ur patience in guiding me (actually not really la, i quite scared u teach one cos u always assume everyone can learn very fast so u always explain veyr very very fast)..oh maybe its bcos u ask me questions,...gave me the confidence u know? :-)
Love ya
From, ping

OH NO>>>SO MUSHY>>>>i shall stop here..and this shall be one very very rare entry k ... me and pat are very independent people. we seldom hold hands, we do our own things. Thanks pat for giving me so much freedom. :-)

great day!

2005-04-02T00:18:00.000-08:00

hehe so happy.. today was a great day minus the time spent on going to Kaki Bukit Crescent to get my speakers repaired.And my brother was so reluctant to go with me. BOX my brother man!After that i went to SSDC to enrol for my practical lessons. waited so long for my turn. those counter people bu zhuan xin loh. kept talking to one another. Then this indian lady who served me like not very friendly one leh..:-)hee..but so excited.. first lesson will be on 7 May and ends 19 June. will be having four lessons per week. hehe..

I was late for one hour , thanks to the inefficient pple at SSDC and also my fault for not realising that the process would have taken such a long time. Sorry ah Sheena. hehe..WA, Shopping with sheena and veron was fun. plus the great dinner at Kenny Rogers. My fav chicken and marcaroni and cheese! hehe..we tried clothes together and helped to see for each other which one suited us. It really reminds me of those times shopping with FM and Jo! So happy! Hmm sheena so naughty i change halfway she "bang " on my curtains. haha later zhou guang loh! :-) Yay, bought a top. hehe.

My brother got a PES C. he got leg problem. :-( but anyway, hehehehe...PES C means i no need to go tekong right? still remembered first time sat on that bumpy bumpy penguin boat with pat's mum and dad and pat. then the four of us so solemn like that, like four stones seated in one row. so paiseh...when pat left me with his parents, i was like OH NO dun leave me with them alone i very scared! and so weird also!! then POP again went with his mum. tried to capture the moment when the caps were in the sky but in the end, i captured nothing but the caps were already on the floor. Oh No my reaction time so slow! from the time the cap flew in vertical motion upwards to instantaneous zero velocity to finally falling under the acceleration of gravity, i didnt managed to capture a single thing until the cap landed on the floor :-( still rememebred seeing my band major ,Dechang, at tekong there ( he is in real estate now in NUS).he was some sergeant standing at the check point or sth. so weird!!! still rememebred last time....eh i better dun say la.

think my thoughts cannot flow properly today hahaha! dunno why...must be the nightmare of mice hiding at the foot pedal of my organ haunting and disturbing me still. seems like i cannot sign in to MSN tonight. sad sad...cannot talk. though just chatted with pat but he was the one who did most of the talking..so excited about his buffet today leh pat..:-) so cute..must drag u to go exercise liao. he says he getting more vain cos of me liao..hehehehe

do i know u?

2005-03-28T22:21:00.000-08:00

Can a person totally forget someone that he/she has met before? Hehe..just some thoughts as i sat here facing the vending machine at block E5. Skipped C & V cos i feel that i need to eat a decent meal before going to Samantha's place to teach her AP/GP. I like to sit along walkways and observe and think.
Along such crowded walkways, one might meet one's fren and then greet one another. This happens very often among my NUS friends but not for me la. Cos most of my frens are not in NUS. So it is only very rarely do i spot one or two when i am moving from one place to another. Sometimes, i come across people whom i can recognise but i am not close to them. Often in such a situation, i am always in a dilemma as to whether to greet that person. If the person's eye is looking at some other directions, then i shall conclude that the person did not see me. So if the person happens not to be at close proximity to me, we will just walk past each other. But the worse thing is when the person is looking straight into my eyes and three subsequent situations then arise. One, the person looks away and appears not to know u or two, the person continue to look at u ( probably digging into his brain to search for the name tagged to this face), then still continue walking or the person says ,"Hey, U R....". Hehe.. i dread the first situation really. I know that person, have conversed with him/her before (just that probably it all happened quite long ago) , yet the person has seemingly forgotten about me. Can a person really forget one person? cant be, right? Or is that person just really unsure whether i am the person they know and they are trying to avoid a gan ga situation should they greet the wrong person? Or is there really a need to greet someone whom one is not close to? As such, most of the times, when i see a familiar face(somebody whom i have not met for a very long time), i would smile at that face and see his/her response. If the person sort of fit into situation one, then aw...so sad. But still....i didnt change a lot what! Luckily i dun encounter this too often hehehe...
It really feels good when i know that some frens still remember me. And definitely when they come over to say "hi" to me when i never even notice them. SO sweet of them. Makes my day:-) And i shall do the same too. Hehehe...gonna flash my yellow teeth at them.;-) (just joking, i got brush my teeth one hor)

great show

2005-03-28T06:59:00.000-08:00

Thought that today might be a bad day. Started off with my speakers not working and my laptop not being able to shutdown. Spooky...hehe, but sch was nice 2day. one lect only. and met silly face. so cute! hehe. :-) Horoscopes a bit true for me today. It said that i should venture out or i would not realise how great today might be. hehe. And thanks ah sheena, made me laugh to myself on the bus while on my way home( i really laughed leh, and got some people, not many though, turned to look at me) . COs i suddenly imagined what u said to me in the morning. About placing my hello kitty and dear daniel on the front of the car (like those wedding cars) Hahaha! Its going to obstruct the driver's view and cause turbulence to be generated in front of the car!

today's maths webcast was so exciting. a guy actually expressed his love for a girl during break. one very romantic guy leh..if i were the girl , i would....dash out of the lecture theatre. hehe. too paiseh le. But he is really courageous wor. *claps *

Guy succeeded partially. He begged. He cried. He wants the gal to be back by his side. He wants to start all over again. start all over again....hmmm...is there really such a thing as start all over again? So easy to erase memories one ma? Girl has over the years ( or maybe not too long la hehe) fallen gracefully into his huai bao. But too much huai bao also no good leh..what if one day girl becomes too dependent on guy? cannot cannot..,must be independent girl:-)

Miss Jo so much when i talked to her today. Suddenly remembered those times in JC again. Jo, still rememeber that song? the one i taught u how to play one? i still rememebered the one u taught me. We play together again k? i play the left hand, u the right. :-) miss going to beach san xin with u too.

Anyway, hehe...blurblur says she forgot to update the time after receiving numerous queries regarding the time the blog is posted. well, blurblur is too lazy to change. just try to imagine when blurblur likes to write blog can liao. hehehe

will a leopard ever change its spots??

2005-03-27T06:58:00.000-08:00

Woke up in the morning to suffer from "notes" sickness. All the notes fell on the floor when i tried to take my glasses. I didnt file them neatly and now they are all over the place. No need to exercise, just swim in this sea of notes can already. When i finally finished filing them, i got ready to meet fongmay! She drove me in her dad's car. Coolz..cant wait to go on to practical lessons in May. Hehe..Thanks fongmay for the CD!! yay! Hehe, this gal says she will silently read my blog and shall not tag...can imagine her reading it(so cute:-))

one shall not be with a person one can live with, but with a person one cannot live without....i love this phrase...(fongmay must be grinning now)

What is about forgiving? what makes one person forgive a person who has hurt this person a lot? Is it love? When one loves the other person, does that mean that the person who is at fault shall always be forgiven? The person who is at fault, what do u normally do? A guy hurt his ger, made her want to leave him. Then he starts to pour out the sweetest words one can ever find on earth in a bid to win her back. Are those words really coming from the heart? Or sort of a reflex reaction to such a situation? Guy promised many times, not to hurt his gal again, yet he did it ONCE MORE. How i wish i can confiscate all the knives Guy has before he send the next one plunging into her heart again. People say " a leopard will never change its spots ". Who can ever guarantee a person will really change for the better? GUy says he wil change, really change...hmmm but ultimately, Only time can tell.

BLur blur thinks thinks thinks.....

fierce fierce :-s

2005-03-26T06:56:00.000-08:00

poor pat today gotten wrongly accused by this stranger woman. The domino effect of one person bumping into pat who then bump into his mum and then his mum bump into this stranger woman led to this quarrel between pat and that woman( the first guy who set the situation into non equlibrium must have had exerted a great force ba) . The woman actually said:" U want to rou rou bao bao go somewhere secluded la!" (she apparently thought that pat and his mum hugged in public) oh man!!!! faints!!!! pat shouted back at her and they quarrelled. first time pat so so angry when he described the incident to me. (conclusion, pat hates to be wrongly accused) when i asked him whether i wrongly accuse him b4, he says not yet...hmmm...i better be careful next time wor..pat can be really really fierce. ehehhehe..
am i a very quiet person in a conversation. hmmm....pat says so, but he always so talkative so he talk ma. hehe. normally when one is always the talker, the other is always the listener ma. then when u finished saying, i would have forgotten what i wanted to say what. somemore my memory a bit poor one. ( think i must take some memory booster loh) hehehe..

seems like veron dont like partyworld KTV, i agree too. service rather bad. so if u want a totally nice KTV time, dun go partyworld KTV.i also dun like the service there. but the room is big and quite shang deng. hehehehe..

Oh read this thing in the Get Real magazine . the don'ts of wooing a gal i think.
1. dun give in to her every whims and wants , dun be too damn nice(most gals find nice guys boring, unexciting and predictable.)
2. dun admit that u like her too fast ( scares her off)
3. dun send an sms every too often
4. dun always buy too ex stuffs for her
5. dun talk too much about your achievements and NS stuffs
Haha.. true or not ah? i dunno. just writing something from the magazine. hheehehe

help

2005-03-25T07:20:00.000-08:00

how i wish that i aren't the one to keep messaging my frens and ask for help in my studies but rather, the "hero" whom everyone turn to to ask for help..but sad to say, i cant qualify for the latter. nevertheless i am still glad that some really kind souls exist to assist me. :-) the world is so sweet when people help one another.
As exams approach, people starts to mug and one might feel disgusted at the sight of muggers. while it is worth celebration for people who mug and produce good results, and also for people who slack and yet scored very well, spare a thought for muggers who apparently mugged a lot and yet produce bad results. I mean, how worse can a person feel when he/she reaps zero results from 100 percent labour ya? instead of shaking you head at them, why not help to analyse what is wrong with their study method. the world will be sweeter as everyone helps one another.
i want to live in a sweet world..
EVeryone's action is driven by a motive i think. sometimes when people hurl hurtful remarks at me, i would try to pause to think what is their reason for being so. why do people want to flare up with people? To want to make the person feel worse than u? to want the person to learn? whatever it is, i hope that everyone's motive behind one's action is good. if a wrong doing is done, apologise :-) while saying sorry for the sake of doing so is one thing, saying with sincerity is another.
why am i talking all these ah? dunno leh,...just some thoughts while on my way home. HEHE
Today was a great day with sheena in school. though we didnt do much and we ended up doing other things instead of doing our tutorials, i felt that it was a day very well spent.I feel veyr happy when i know that my day was spent well. smile! hhehe. i like to examine people's expression and it seems that everyone is sian about their life cos they are wearing the sian look on the MRT trains. hmmm...what was running in their minds neh? think think think....
my head slamming into the keyboard again. shall blog tml. heheh...mind quite tired. take care pple. :-)

listen

2005-03-24T06:07:00.000-08:00

Do u feel irritated when u are chatting with a person on the phone and the person on the other line says " U wait arh, i doing sth. " and keeps u holding on to the receiver for quite some time b4 returning to apologise frantically? or halfway when u are going on to the juiciest part of the conversation, the person on the other line suddenly seems to be shouting across his/her room to someone else or breaks into laughter cos he or she is actually watching a comedy while talking to u? Or the person keeps on "uh huhing" until when u ask : " Am i right?" then he/she says," sorry can u repeat again??"..hai, are people around always so busy that talking to someone on the phone seems like a chore or what? hehe. up to this point, u all might be thinking that i am the victim in such situations but well....uh oh....i guess i do those things sometimes. or should i say seldom ba(i want to defend for myself hehe).but sometimes, when i really did that, i feel bad. I can sense that disappointment in the person's voice on the other line. wanna say sorry esp to pat. i think u should know by now i am a person who likes to multi-task. so..yar..hehe. k , next time i shall place my phone at somewhere alway from all forms of distractions. :-)
Today was a very very sleepy day. slept on the way to sch. selpt during econs lect. slept during CEP lecture(a bit only though, thanks to the powerful ice tea from The Pavilion). slept while on my way home. slept during break too. just need sleep ba. It is that kind of feeling where it makes u sigh automatically and uncontrollably(chest also feels tight tight and throat dry dry one). U know that "hai hai" feeling. super nuah nuah gonna plonk on the floor anytime those kind. hate such feelings. hehe. Last night really couldnt sleep. no decent bed = no decent sleep. and as soon as i close my eyes, the if loop or what simply appeared in my mind. Stop haunting me programming. even the toilet also not as haunting as u, programming, LOH.(anyway i very scared of school toilets at night one, so dun u ever dare try to switch off the lights while i am in the toilet hor, i will get real pissed and will scream in your ears one). Last night already got so many people mugging in sch whole night liao. Waaa...
haha, today someone so happy write sth on lect note and showed to me neh. This person likes someone and that someone also likes this person. ( i think so) heh heh heh...
wa i got the honour to appear on some peoples' blog, so happy:-)

when this someone appears whenever u feel down and yet that someone whom u wished would have appeared didnt, what do u do? hmmmmmmmmm....i still thinking of the ans for dearest fren. think think think....

pathetic dinner

2005-03-24T00:26:00.000-08:00

I am now typing the blog in a partially consussed state. Thank you very much programming. The opportunity cost of doing this very dear lab 3 would be going out to watch a nice movie with my ever dearest Joanne. Thanks..THanks THANKS PROGRAMMING>>LOVE YA MUACK MUACK MUACK PROGRAMMINg...thanks for making me have milo only for dinner, for ingesting a snickers bar thinking that this miracle chocolate might create wonders for this lab...Thanks so much.In the end, i could not compile prior to submission. this is great..why is programming ever ill treating me despite my love for u. hehhee..
I am now situated at arts forum. sian. cant sleep on my dear bed. shall stink the whole school tml in the early morning when i go home for not bathing. STINKO BOMBs!!! wow, mosquitoes are having dinner on me now. SLURP..LICK LICK...
oh no i cannot think properly...still got econs lect in the early morning tml..might just fall asleep throughout ba. HOpe that today will be a better day .

nice mtv

2005-03-21T14:45:00.000-08:00

I like that song Tong Hua even more now! saw the mTV. so touching! But what a sad story though. and a predictable one according to veron and jingwen..but , i still like it a lot! Hehe. IN the MTV, the guy has this constant expressionless face. I thought how come he like always sian sian one. I only realised the reason towards the back of the MTV. His girlfriend was stricken with leukemia(i suppose). No wonder he is always stoning. Probably worrying for his girlfriend or just trying to enjoy and store in his memory every moment spent with her. Everything in the MTV was so sweet and happy until the part where the gal collapsed while the guy was playing that song for her. Oh...i knew sth was wrong when she collapsed. The next moment, she is lying on the bed with the guy holding her hands. Then that part "Wo hui bian cheng tong hua li ni ai de na ge wang zi..."started playing. OHHHH..so sad..in the front part of the MTV, the gal and the guy were watching this korean show together and she didnt believe in love stories. I hope she believe in that b4 she finally left that guy. CAn imagine that guy trying to protect the gal from pain till her last breath. After watching the MTV, i had several gan chu..:-) Did i describe until very confusing? hehe...if want to see this mtv, can ask from me. :-)
i shall stop here today. Going for CEP tutorial :-(

so hungry until not hungry anymore

2005-03-21T07:11:00.000-08:00

Today is basically just a mundane day. Went to school early. Wanted to go for CEP tut but cos i woke up late, me and sheena were unable to make it in time. (Oops and i am the one who is late..HOW COME I ALWAYS LATE!!???) OH NO...
TOday's lecture was rather...ok. Heh..went to library to do tutorial and then study a bit b4 attempting that madness C & V quiz(anyway i just remmebered that the quiz exists today..blur me blur me!!!)
Went home late. Ate dinner quite late. Was so hungry until i have no appetite to eat much also.
Thanks to silly face yesterday. Finally understood what love really is. Yay! :-) so happy. Today's blog shall be short cos i have tut at 8 tml. will write more. hehehe

the day i confessed this much to u

2005-03-19T09:27:00.000-08:00

Being very truthful is essential for a relationship to carry on. Whilst telling white lies are good, i chose to do otherwise by revealing much of my thoughts last night in my conservation with pat. Sometimes by hiding too much from a person can only bring about misery when the person finds out himself/herself or that the person who is keeping the secret feels like a tight guitar string on the verge of snapping due to the intense amount of stress kept within himself/herself. As such, when i sensed that each of us is really getting unhappy with each other, i decided to reveal my thoughts to u. I used to think, by remaining silent, i can make u feel happier cos i would appear to be a very easily contented person. hmmmmm.. While at certain situations, remaining silent is the best solution, last night i chose not to.

Nevertheless, i still reserve some secrets for my closest frens only. Nanny nanny poo poo!! Heehee...i believe most people do so too right?? hehehhe

Oh i realised that i always never change the time i post my post. haha..blur me blur me

nice ktv day

2005-03-19T06:26:00.000-08:00

Today was a great day minus the boring tuition lesson in the morning. Actually, not really very boring la. Hehe. But the fact that i have condemned this week to be a bad tuition week made me kind of sian about tuition today.
Was super happy to meet joanne and fongmay for a KTV session. Fongmay is forever so cute. Her outfit is always so "langa".(she wore a fila T with a pleated skirt and a yellow beach slippers) hehehe. Dun take offence ok fongmay? I really really like the way u are. Yay! Wow, though today all of us Sha Jied in the KTV room, ( and the glass doors decided to give us face by not cracking) we truly enjoyed ourselves. So long never laugh so hard liao. Haha. I still rememebered those mad days in class where the three of us always laugh for no reason. Laugh till the point of tearing, formation of huge amount of phlegm in the throat which then led to a spout of coughing. Haha, especially during Mr Neo's lesson. Anyway, dear joanne and fongmay must be wondering how come shuping sang until so mad today. Cos i was really really trying to "faxie". The session has left me feeling very happy and relaxed. Hehe. Shuping Loves fongmay and joanne a lot a lot a lot!!!!!
After the session, i met pat for a walk and dinner. hmmmmmmmm........................
DUnno why but my mood just changed after walking for a few distance with him. I dont know whether i should continue writing or not.
To u: have i changed in the way i treated u since the day i stepped in NUS? Am i neglecting u? U said that i always never listen to u. Did i? U feel that i am close to a HMW, am i really so? U said i am an independent gal, do i have the ability to be one all the time? U said that i seems unhappy whenever i am with u. Why is that the case? what makes u think that way? Dont think too much anyway ok? :-)
I want to watch and shout to the sea.I want to listen to the waves. I need nature to give me an answer... AH!!!

eye swell swell

2005-03-17T16:48:00.000-08:00

sad sad..eye swell swell today, staying at home liao. Mei lian jian ren :-(
shall reflect upon what SMM has said about the song tong hua. I like this song for its veyr fairy-like tune and lyrics. However, SMM regards it as unrealistic. True, it is totally unrealistic in the context of today and the future but to engage in fanciful thoughts once in a while helps me to get away from this world. Ya, i totally agree that a perfect prince charming has come to non existence and to find one that almost resembles a prince charming is like one in a million.Nevertheless, everyone carries with them the hope in finding their princess or prince charming. If a guy can ever say that part about wo hui bian cheng,tong hua li ni ai de na ge wang zi...., wa , the gal must have fainted there and then.
I wish that people will find their true love but bear in mind that love stories in fairy tales depict only the happy parts in a relationship. To those who seems to have lost faith in love, try no tto think of the unhappy pasts but carry a positive thought that u can find ur prince charming soon.

given my dreamy personality ( actually, i am not really those dreamy person la, more of stony), i would continue engaging in fanciful thoughts. Hahahaa.

what a day

2005-03-16T07:32:00.000-08:00

went to swim in the morning and then to school to do maths lab with sheena. felt bad that i scored full marks and yet when i helped her analyse hers, i actually "hai" her to get one wrong. Happy to have met xiaofang on the bus and she talked to me Me and xiaofang really missed those times in sec sch when everyone was still so innocent unlike some people now in school who can actually backstab. I really feel very blessed to be in my sec sch. No incidents of backstabbing actually occured.
seems like everyone is rather sad today for some reason but i hope that everyone will cheer up soon. :-)
so glad to have known Sheena in NUS :-)
As long as i have the ability to do so, i would want people around me to be happy.

another day

2005-03-12T16:47:00.000-08:00

feel happy that u have found someone u like. :-) Sorry if i had been so cold hearted last time, being dao by not replying your msgs, faking ignorance upon receiving ur gift though my heart actually felt slightly touched. I wanted u to forget about me because i know that it is impossible between us. Well, as if what i have done to make u forget about me works and sounds "wei da". It is actually the appearance "chu sian" of another gal and that i am simply just an ordinary, or not a lower than average girl that u finally gave up on me. Or should i say, make a U turn and head for the CORRECT and better direction. I can finally heave a sigh of relief though, that i need not be the bad person i was again. I feel that i have treated u in the worst ways than i could have treated other people. Didnt mean to do that. I am sorry for what i have done in the past and have to tell u al that i have donel are "intentional and with a purpose". Anyway, i just wish u all the best with her. :-)

its going to be a new week. Reflecting upon the weekends, i feel that i have spent quite a boring saturday only until towards the end when i could meet him to go out. I may appear to be sian when going out with him but in fact, my mind is again running through a lot a lot of things. Haha, so tired again. Hope that jo had a wonderful time with jw last nite. Yay! miss FM and her. And i suddenly thought of my shi ye. Hope to meet up with them soon :-)

Lonely day

2005-03-10T16:09:00.000-08:00

what a lonely day. Went to CEP tutorial myself. Sat alone and waited for the rest of the class people to come in. Thought i would be the only person from my class to crash 4B's tutorial until the guys started walking in. Phew.. and thankfully Val came too. Otherwise i would feel odd man. Haha. Prof Zeng is so cute. He finally realised what was the joke about in the previous lecture. HE pronounced small as shen me. hehehe. I quite like prof zeng. hehe. Oh, but haiya, i did the wrong tutorial for CEP today. Actually i only did one question. Argh. Blur me blur me blur me!
After tut, i went to E2 cafe to sit alone and eat alone. Today, i just have the mood to be alone. hehe. However i know that cannot last. I just cant bear being so lonely that i left NUS. While on the bus, i kept thinking about a lot of things until my mind became so tired that i fell asleep and wake up just in time to alight at the correct bus stop. Let me try to recall what i was thinking.
Oh i especially like to sit at the window of the bus to gaze at the scenery and i happento see this couple in my sch. It was raining then and this guy was using his file to shelter his gf's head. Ooo so romantic. How i wish he is there beside me at that point in time. But then i suddenly rememebered about him saying that he might be switching to NTU instead of NUS. Hai. Would u all want ur bf or gf to be in the same school as you or not? For me, i would like to have him in the same school as me. But come to think of it, i will never forget those times when in JC, i would be so paiseh if he comes to be with me. Cos i would feel very awkward. Aiya, mixed feelings again.
let me try to include the hopes of the day from now on
and thus as for today my wish is to have a happier tuition session with Gowri, get BACK my tuition money, Joanne to be ok with that guy classmate, Fongmay to be not so stressed and the rest of the people whom i know to enjoy the day. Yay!

hehe:-)

2005-03-10T02:17:00.000-08:00

I am sitting at some lounge at YIH now and have decided to write today's blog here while waiting for meixuan to meet me at Munchie Monkeys for dinner prior to the NUS band concert at 8pm at UCC. Heehee
TOday was generally a tiring day for me cos i didnt had a good sleep last nite. Still suffering from the after effect from the submission of last nite's prog. After sending Sheena to the bus stop i went home to prepare going for econs lecture. SIAN. Fortunately i reached school just in time for lecture. Hehe.
After lecture ,me and sheena went to NTU to find her fren, Cho. wow i must say sheena possesses a large variety of frens man. And this particular fren of hers has this air of daoness in her. She is the first kind of person i met which i classify under very unfrenly. further more the way she talked to sheena makes me feel that she is a rather cold person. However sheena says that Cho is a very nice person if one gets to know her better so i shall not have such a bad impression of her. Hehe. Hopes that Cho and Sheena will be veyr good frens next time. :-)
After getting to know a little more about sheena, i realise that the way i approach people is very different from her. The more unfrenly the person, the more she wants to approach that person to know that person. As for me, i would rather leave that person alone. Haha. But who knows, maybe such people make truly wonderful frens. Another thing which i learned about sheena is that she places frens on top priority. She didnt buy a cd which she has always wanted cos she used her money to buy a dvd for her fren instead. Hehe. How many people can actually do that? Coupled with the fact that that fren is not very close to her. Hmm...i guess at this point in time, i will still only buy things for very close frens (suddenly reminds me of pareto efficiency haha) at the expense of buying my things. Haha..hope that doesnt makes u think i am a kiam siap person. Hehehe...
Hai cant get to meet my NTU frens at NTU today cos either they are having lessons or they are not in school. Sad sad...miss darling joanne, fongmay, shuhui, mixue..paiseh if i never mention your name cos i am currently suffering from a mental block.
CAnt believe anyone could have heard the song Go West by Pet shop boys until sheena let me listen to it. It is the song that my sec sch band always played. I can still memorise the notes for the songs and the fingerings on my clarinet. Hehe. Really likes the beat of that song. Simply reminds me of those wonderful times in band. Miss band life.........

what a tiring day!!!

2005-03-09T08:11:00.000-08:00

Today is filled totally with programming madness. argh!!! took the whole day to complete a program that only involves solving simultaneous equations! and also the most scary thing is that i could not submit last minute. thanks to YY i can submit. Really nie yi ba leng han!
hehe so fun sheena come my house to do prog together. But can see that she rather kan cheon those kind, just like me. HEHEHE
yay tonight sheena pei me to sleep hehe
and joanne said to go KTV next saturday! so happy! miss dear dear joanne and fongmay! Hope fongmay can make it that day! hehe
what a "fun filled" day today thanks to programming haha
Oh, of course not forgeting that i owe mixue a meal ! hehehe

new blog for blur queen

2005-03-08T00:58:00.000-08:00

hehe paiseh have to start a new blog cos i lost my password and userid for my previous blog.
Phew mid sem exams over. But like what min min(cousin) says, hmwk became like avalanche.Stress man. Cant believe that i still spent my whole weekend after the mid sem slacking hehe.
Oh what a suay day for me today man! Firstly, i wore my contact lens wrongly. As in the concave side became the convex side. Hai stupid tutorial in the morning. Made me wake up so early and hence added on to my blurness. So uncomforatble man. That lens kept trying to revert back to its equilibrium position. I had to try holding back my tears while yawning(cos the tears will soften the lens and make it try to achieve equilibrium), bear in mind, while yawning leh!!! (almost impossible loh!) All my blurness's fault and the tutorial's fault and my vainess's fault la!!!!!So uncomforatble i decided to skip lectures and tutorials to come home and fling that stupid thing outta my eyes!
Another suay thing. I didnt complete my tutorials cos as i said i slacked during the weekend. And yet for the second time, my prog tutor called me to present my answers when i didnt do. Thanks to jingwen and val but he must have seen that frantic look on my face and cursing inside his heart why this gong gong gal always like never do homework one.
i must be super tired to have knocked out on the bus totally all the way from kent ridge interchange to hougang haha
I hope i can keep up with my blog hehe :-)